the release of PW results was totally different from what i expected. it made all of us shocked, disappointed and lost for words.
perhaps it was because ms de silva told us our work was an A grade. and to top it off, the examiners for our OP said we were good. while people managed to get their reports, we didn't. yet, from their reports, many had done well, with the grade of EE written on their paper. YET. they all got Cs and Ds. i didn't know what to make out of the entire thing when i finally got to know my results. i thought it was all a joke that ms de silva was playing. that perhaps she'll say GOTCHA and tell us our real marks. but none of that ever happened. Friday the 13th just went on as gloomy as the weather.
today has just been a bringer of bad news. PW results, the impending doom of the advanced students who failed to meet the minimum 35 rank points. i don't know what to make out of all these, except to recall what ailing taught us at the SFC-SYFC training - we are all stuck in this vicious cycle, trapped by the world's demands for us, our education and certs are seen as essential to our survival. without them, we are nothing. As i trembled in fear and shock at the mere prospect of losing all my certs and becoming a nothing in society, i realised with great horror that i too, belong to the group who is trapped by all these things.
there;s a rumour going around about why the pw results are just as bad as the previous year's. i don't know what to make out of it, though if it's really true, it's really foolish of that person. i won't state who, but people in SA should know very clearly what i'm talking about. it's not just about us. it's also about the school's reputation. ah wellz.
i feel bad for my group, for ms de silva, for myself. all that hard work has seemingly gone down the drain, flushed down the toilet bowl, never to be changed to newater. in order words...it's all gone. seeing people cry, fellow leaders cry, fellow members cry...i couldn't help but feel a sense of anger within me. yet at the same time, there was nothing i can do but to just accept it. it's a very scary idea to imagine that the actual release of my A level results would be the same scenario. to have been so confident and yet, have everything we had hoped for dissappear just like that. i feel bad for my group members, for i've witnessed the amount of hard work we've put in, the sweat and blood and pride that we took in our project work...how we bonded through the tough times and encouraged one another on. To not know where we've went wrong...with no explaination whatsoever...i just feel that they didn't deserve to be treated like that.
stil..no point harping on that. I should instead give thanks to God. for things could have been worse. i don;t understand what all these is about or how it'll benefit me, but i just need to learn to trust in God and believe that all these are just part of the plan to grow me, mould me and for the carrying out of His will. thus, i have decided that i will smile and just accept those grades that i got.
really want to thank God for being so faithful to me. i was really worried when the rain poured like crazy and showed no signs of stopping. it didn't help either that mel and yinxi said that such rains lasted the entire day and would probably stop at like 7/8pm. This of course, would not be a favourable one since we're having orientation and our plans were mostly centralised on outdoor games. Somehow when we were planning, we just trusted that God will provide good weather just as He always has. while the ongoing rain thundered down and flooded our campus and the rugby field next to us, i was really worried that we would have to use our wet weather plan, which trust me, wouldn't even interest me to play. the rugby field next door was so flooded there were ruggers actually diving into the waters to SWIM.
as miraculous as it sounds, the rain suddenly lightened to a drizzle and when it was time to conduct the games, not a drop of rain fell from the heavens. beautiful isn't it? that my God who is so big, would grant me my request. if it weren;t for Him, alot of things wouldn't have gone so smoothly. all glory and honour and praise belongs to Him and Him alone. thank you Father :)
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