God's work =)

yay. so far. i'm on schedule for studying. question is whether i'll remember the stuff i studied after this. bahh...life sucks when ur memory is worse than an elephant or a goldfish. it's quite cool how before the holidays ended i was doing my QT and God just told me to go and do a schedule for my studying for the CTs. or maybe it was just me. i don't know. but it's quite cool how everything fitted in and how i still have spare time to watch soccer. hahahaha. YAY. and the coolest thing is that on the days that there's soccer at night, i dun have any paper or school the next day. WHOOTS! God rocks =)

my house is infested with ants. they seem to have nests all over the place. what is this??? i think a few colonies have started treating my house as their err...house. i have ants crawling on me. URGHZ. and worse of all. they are biting my fat ass....ARGHZ. stupid ants.

i think God has been really good to me. though things haven;t been great...with all that farness from God and failing of GP and arghz. everything. i was really feeling quite depressed at the end of the day. but i learnt and realised that all these while, God is just trying to teach me to rely on Him fully. and He gave me the concept of the sheep and the shepherd. you see, the good shepherd will give in His all for His sheep, giving them love, providing for their every need, protecting them even if it means endangering himself etc etc. u get the idea. and that's God. as for us, we're the sheep. and our job is to fully rely and depend on the shepherd. u know how dumb sheep gets. when they decide to go look for greener pastures they end up eaten or injured and the shepherd has to go and find them back. likewise, God knows what is good for us and if we decide to rely on ourself to get things that we think are good for us, we 'll end up hurt and all.

learnt this during QT today. we need to seek God by pushing hard
PUSH. you should know this: Pray Until Something Happens
H - Holy Living
A - Alertness to His voice
R - repentance
D - Desperate/Desire/Devoted

i like D the most. i need it the most too. i think it's the most basic thing. i mean, when u have it, automatically u will grow to want to live a holy life, u'll spend more time with Him, so u'll recognise His voice and be more in tune with it and u'll have a greater sense of righteousness yes? therefore the repentance thingy.

Read some Christian novel from the sch library and it's quite cool. language and all is really simply and lousy, but it's the content that counts. this girl was growing really close to God and her friends around her were all like non-christians and there was this bunch of kids that were like bullies and she witnessed them steal from the shop she was working in and they stole her car. being the bullies in the neighbourhood, no one dared to report them to the authorities simply because they were fearful. But God led this girl and gave her the courage to do so and He was just so clear in leading her it was way cool. throughout the entire process, she managed to influence the people around her and one by one they gained the courage to report to the police about what the bullies have done. at the last part of this series she got badly injured cos she was beaten by the bullies - bruises, broken jaw, cracked ribs, fractured shoulder etc. but her friends came and visit her and because of how she shone for God and how God worked in her life, her friends wanted to know about God . cool eh? hope we can see something like that in our lives. or even better. haha. why not? nothing is impossible.

Anyway, to those YFers reading my blog, pls pray for Joel Chong. He went for an operation and he's not healing well, bleeding quite badly. he's now placed in the Heavy Dependance Unit (HDU) something like ICU, but slightly better . yeps.

school reopened

it's sad that the holidays are over yes?? i'm looking forward to the next holiday. haha.

i got to stay at home more often than before, considering how i used to be out at ARC everyday preparing for the competition. during this holiday i learnt and realised my dad's love for him and because of that, i realised i'm starting to love him back too.

like all asian dads, my dad doesn't like to show his love for us openly. in fact, he likes to deny it, insisting that we love him only when he has money or when there's food for us. through how he acts childishly in front of me just to get my attention to all the different kinds of goodies he brings home for me just because he knows i love them, to the disturbing the rest of the family before we sleep just so he can talk to me...and staying up even though he's tired to watch soccer with me. perhaps i never realised his love for me in the past cos i seldom got to see him. he works at night, so when i'm in school, he's at home, while when i'm at home, he's at work.

anyway, apart from this dad, i have another father from above. i don't know why, but lately my relationship with him haven't been too good. my QT feels like routine, as if im doing it just for the sake of doing so and i'm not gaining much. i wish i could get back my love and passion for him once again. a passion and a hunger for Him, with the time spent with Him full of quality and so personal. it frustrating when u seem to hear bits and pieces from Him and yet you can't figure out what He is trying to say to you. ARGHZ. it's annoying.

so school has started and after studying in school today, i realised it is much more effective and i take less than half the time to finish studying what i'm supposed to, compared to when i'm at home. got to run after i studied too. haha. i feel accomplished. JIA YOU!!!!!!

future plans

haha. last night's match was interesting. exciting only at the last part when both teams realised they needed to fight to score. oh man. it was 0-0 at the end, there were alot of very near goals that they kept missing -___-''' anyway. i'm tempted after last night to watch the japan vs brazil match. hahaha. my poor dad has to tune the tv for me again. heehee...or maybe i should just go over someone's hse for a sleepover just to watch it on GOOD tv =)

anyway, i was really thinking where i should go after JC, esp since people are discouraging me from going to poly and all of a sudden i remembered about the design schools in singapore. YIPPEEE!!! haha. checked them out and they are a million times nearer to my hse than NTU. YAYs. and their requirements are lower. i figured that i could go to one of those design school and take up visual communicaions =) or maybe i should do interior designing..hmm..NVM...wait than say la

was watching some show on Malaysia and oh man. it looks fun. when i finish all my studies i should gather a group of close friends and we can go to rider's lodge and go learn how to ride a horse. and then we can go to this place like OBS where they have all that obstacle course thingy and we can go and do go kart racing and go white water rafting. haha. i sound like such an adventurer. but no. i think i'll die there as fun as it looks like. just as what marco said about rodolfo in my secondary sch lit book "view from the bridge" -- "he dreams, he dreams". ah wellz. but i definitely want to learn how to ride a horse. hmm...but the financial part will be a difficulty. nvm. when there's a will...there's a way. those interested, start signing up with me!!!!!!!

OH! and GUESS WHAT?!?!?! i ate the ban mian that i made with my maid today. haha. cool man. at the rate that i'm eating ban mian, i'll soon turn into one. i ate a bowl before famine camp, and i ate another one after famine camp, and on tuesday i ate another bowl for lunch, and today i had a BIG bowl of ban mian that i made =) YUMMY. hahaha. making ban mian is tiring when you dun have the machine to do it. it's a GREAT WAY to exercise and burn off the fats. but of course after u eat that big bowl of ban mian u gain more. heh. BAN MIAN ROCKS!

ok. i should go back to studying my chinese...just as what caleb said. haha. see caleb. i'm so guai. =D

SOCCEERRRR

had a 4/4 bbq today. ok. so like only half the class turned up, but still, it was nice to see Mr Ng again. after today i realised how much i miss the old school building, the blue tiled classroom, me sitting right at the back of the class with weixin and naomi..most importantly, seeing my brudders every single day. oh man. i want to cry just thinking about it. sob.

and for the first time in my entire life of bbq, we had very little leftover food. be glad mr ng. be very glad that you dun have 20 over chicken wings and all. hahaha. :D nice to hear Mr Ng's lame jokes too. hahaha. anyway, thanks to him, i'm motivated to watch the soccer match that will be on later tonight, or rather....tomorrow morn....if i can last that late.

my dad's such a sweet thing. he went to buy more fried springrolls for me because i just absolutely adore it. and he bought 5!!! can u imagine! that's why i'm fat. my dad keeps pampering me with good food. haha. and he even tuned the channels for me so i can catch the football match! and he's accompanying me to watch tv! i'm so touched **sniff** my dad should receive the best dad award thingy. pity my family ain;t the "SHOW ME YOU LOVE ME" kinda family.

anyway dad...if u ever happen to chance on my blog...which is impossible. considering how u don't know how to use the comp properly....haha. nvm. God shall tell u that i love u dearly =) you're such a cute lil old thing. hahaha. LOVE U DAD!

famine camp

i attended famine camp during the weekends. now i feel inspired to go and help them, go help build houses with the habitat for humanity, reach out to the little kiddies, sponsor a kid etc. it's like the most fulfilling job you can ever have! i mean, seeing how the lives of people were touched in the video, seeing how happy they were with a proper house to stay in and all, their smiles, tears of joy. oh man. made my heart melt <3333 ok. when i finish sch i'm gonna make a difference, go join them in overseas projects, sponsor a kiddie, give them LOOOVVEEEE!

i must say that world vision makes super good videos. i mean, they capture the most heart wrenching and melting moments that can't help but inspire people to help out and serve.

During the famine camp, we had to fold as many paper cranes as we could cos one crane meant a bowl of rice (roughly 100g) for someone who was starving over in some country. i learnt how to fold cranes and the entire camp just inspired me to help out as much as i could. folding cranes was something that i could do, so after the camp activities were over, su hui, briana and i were folding cranes till the next morning. haha. i'm proud to say that we folded over 200 cranes. YAY. that means about 20kg plus of rice for people!

the activities that we did weren't really effective in teaching us anything cause everything that is in real life cannot possibly be simulated. i mean, how can disaster chaoticness be created in Singapore unless it really happens??? the queuing at the evacuation centres etc, didn't really mean anything except a simulation and game to me. my dad found at me some evacuation centre and we went on to find more of our families. which consisted of like 13 people, which means that i had 10 siblings =S

my family was very quiet, and so called "supportive" in everything my dad decided, cos in order to earn money, we just went along with all the immoral activities like prostitution and even selling one of us away. we did of course earn the most money in the end, giving us 17 packets of sugared drinks just so that we won't drop dead and die halfway through the event. the only thing i learnt from it was that i could modify it to be used for other camps. haha. seriously, you can't experience the pain and actual experience of being sold for prostitution or child slavery just to earn money, neither can our "parents" feel the pain of doing so because we simply weren't related in real life, so there's no connection involved.

anyway, it was a nice time for su hui and i to meet my juniors once again after such a long time, to catch up with them and be updated on what is going on at ARC. it's quite sad to know about all the politics going on and on the friendships that has been broken or weakened when during our time they were just so close. we wondered how the brudders had still remained such god friends and realised that was course we stuck together throughout our entire 4 years in IJ and had no other good friends. haha. we sound like such sad people -__-''' but it's ok. i still love my brudders. haha.

studying sucks.

urghz. i hate studying.

someone remind me why i went to SA instead of NYP. its not that i hate SA. i love SA. i just don't like the studying and exams and tests. ok. i'll get the same stuff even if i go to poly. but still, it's more interesting. shucks. i realised that i don't have a portfolio to show for my uni entry to the arts and media. URGHz. shucks. perhaps....i'll have to go to NYP after JC to get a diploma there and at the same time, build up my portfolio. hiaz.

ARGHZ ARGHZ ARGHZ.

something i took away from the bean picking game at SFC camp. JIA YOU! don't give up!!!

SFC interview

today's interview was scary

i was sitting there waiting for my turn, slowly morphing into a dying nervous wreck. i couldn't breathe properly and i could feel my heart POUND against my chest. i seriously felt like puking man. and my hands were so cold i could be mistaken for Bobby by the blind and turn the SAS swimming pool into a skating rectangle with my nervousness. by the way, bobby is the ice man in X men. haha. seriously. i could have fainted and died on the spot if i refused to hold on.

Thank goodness it's all over. **HEAVES A SIGH OF RELIEF** i reckon the two male teachers in SFC are total opposites. haha. one turned up all serious and all in long sleeved shirt and tie while the other turned up in erm...t-shirt and shorts looking as if he just woke up from bed. put them together and you get Mr Eric Tan. HAHAHAHAHA. it's true. reminds me of all the good times in ARC. somehow i always end up in CCAs that never have it's name read out in full. heh.

anyway. this interview is superbly different from all the interviews that i had. I was ushered into a room where there was this table seated with 7-8 people looking at u. if their eyes could shoot darts i would have looked like a porcupine by now. it was super intimidating. and even the questions were different, but yet, easier than what u would normally get. i didn't know what to expect, since we are after all a christian cca, so i knew there were gonna be questions about your spiritual life and all. but at the same time this was an interview for leaders. so i expected to get questions like what do u expect of a leader? haha. i didn't get any of those questions. got more of the what has God been doing in your life kinda questions. which was good cos it was answers from the heart. no model TYS answers that you could give =) and i walked out of the room feeling good about myself cos everything i said was true and i meant it. =) Whether i get a position as a leader or not doesn't matter. cos i'll still probaby end up staying late to help out and stuff. haha. call me itchy fingers. plus, God wants what's best for the CCA. if there's people more suited for the job than i am. so be it =) it feels good to be at peace. haha. now i wonder why i was so nervous. -___-'''

anyway, i stayed on in the library to continue studying. it was good for me. considering how undisciplined i am at home. i believe i should go to school to study more often. was intending to run after studying. but i forgot that i had to settle my lunch and i was too lazy to walk out of school and back again. haha. so i just left for lunch.

i randomly went to hougang mall and i ended up wondering why on earth i was doing there. i ended up at the library and i was about to borrow my books when i looked at the horrendous queue and i just dumped my books into the browsed box. anyway, hougang mall has changed so much. oh gosh. i can;'t wait for all the good food to come out. hahaha.

speaking of shopping. i realised my wardrobe needs changing =S seriously. sure took me a long time to realise that though, sadly, i'm stuck in the stage of knowing that i need to change but yet don't know what to do. it's annoying. my brother should bring me shopping. haha. i know it sounds weird. but he's the only person i'm comfortable with shopping with. we think pretty much alike, and i can trust him and his comments. hahha. my brother rocks. i love ya!

he brought me out for an X Men movie and a sakae sushi buffet treat which was long overdued. haha. the two of us ate like 25 + plates of sushi. our original target was 30 but we almost died stuffing ourselves with sushi for 2 hrs non-stop. can u imagine how terrified of sushi we were after that??? even the sound of some jap word that sounded sushi-like scared the daylights out of us. i'm serious! i believe i'll be staying away from sushi for quite a while.

ok this is superbly random:
it;s dumb how they keep coming up with stupid toys that repeat over and over again...the craze of yo-yos is back. only in the form of a stick. and this stupid kid happily flicked one right in front of my face while i was in the bus. kids. -__- you should be thankful i do not have scary reflexes like amy. haha. i still love u amy. u know that =))))

church camp

just came back from church camp. it was like the slackest church camp i've ever attended, but it's also one of better camps.

was quite shocked to find out that i was a discussion leader for the sec ones. especially since the leaders of the cell groups werent leaders and i who has never led a cell grp discussion before was given the task and i was even informed about it. so imagine the shock i received when i found out. they even got my surname wrong. i was known as gloria CHING =S

it's quite scary leading a bunch of youngsters esp when u dun know them. the day before during qt i had a feeling i was supposed to be a sheperd for God's sheep. i was really hesitant about it. cos i'm not exactly that kind of a leader. but i figured that it would give me a chance to learn to really lean on God for guidance and strength cos i was fully aware of the fact that i can't do it by myself. so i said ok. i never expected it to be so soon. like the next day. and at first i was quite fascinated to find that my group leader happened to have the same name as me. until i realised my name wasn't in the group and i didn't know any other glorias. then. i realised that the gloria ching person was me. yes. me. i was super scared, and on one hand, slightly annoyed at how they had just plonked me with that task without asking me or even warning me about. yet. perhaps if they did, i wouldn't have this experience of leading them...even if i didn't exactly do anything during discussion times.

i didn't know what to do, or how to lead the group....this bunch of sec ones. =S the discussion questions given to us was more or less catered for the adults and even us discussion leaders found it difficult. let alone the smallies. i didn't know how i could make discussion interesting or fruitful for them. i didn't want them to leave this camp unchanged and all. and i was a super worrywart about it. sadly, all that i had intended to do for them went down the drain after the first discussion whereby my co-leader which was a more senior leader than i was, simply brushed aside the discussion questions to play games and watch videos on his laptop. =( i didn't dare to tell him anything considering how the kids liked him and that he was a more experienced leader than i was. so i just left everything to him. honestly, i felt so discouraged knowing that the smallies were gonna leave this camp gaining nothing. me too. Still, God was good and He gave me time with my own age discussion grp, so i did get to pick up good stuff from pastor dave in his discussion group. plus, it was really encouraging to see how the boys in the group really contributed and how matthew, the youngest in the group happened to be the one who paid the most attention and gained alot. good job dude!

anyway. was quite shocked to find out that we were going to play angel and mortal game. and i didn;t have anything with me for my mortal or angel. rah. nvm. cos my angel didnt do anything for me and i could barey find my mortal. i found out after the camp that amos was my angel. -___-''' he's like super cute la. how he danced and all. haha. i sound like some paedophile. but i assure u..i'm NOT.

this camp has been pretty cool. how people in church have the passion for God re-ignited and revived. we believe it's the start of the revival for my church and it's cool man. people getting visions and all. there were loads of testimonies at the end of the camp -- something that never happened before. exciting-ness =D worship during this camp was cool too. never felt that good before =)

oh. and since we were at camp during the global day of prayer, our church had it on our own. and after that the youths had our own prayer. it was pretty cool. cos the leaders got prayed for and u can feel God working and all... funkiness. hahaha.

figured during the camp that i have a serious problem of a divided heart. my focus is barely on God, unless i'm like doing my QT, having morning worships, church, sfc etc. i still don't understand how u can include God in like 24/7 of your life. the dying for christ just to follow Him started to make sense after this divided heart thingy. usually we're so focused on ourselves that we ignore God, turning a deaf ear to Him and all. and to really be able to have an undivided heart for Him and to really just focus on Him we need to get rid of this "self" thingy in our life. to really allow Christ to take over, to recognise that our lives are no longer ours, but His. i learnt how important QT is as well. haven't done my qt in days. well...i suppose i've been very complacent esp since i've been at a church camp, but nothing beats having a personal time with God where He can truly minister to you. you can't feed on the spiritual highness of the people around u. i'm not a sponge. ok. even if i am, the stuff within me gets squeezed out or evaporated =S so i dun retain anything

coming for this camp has also allowed me to know a few of the youths better. partly cause the girls my age are all unable to come. leaving only natalie, sarah and myself. haha. the 3 rugby rivals, RJ, AC and SA respectively. it's fun how we usually diss one another's schools...for fun. so during the camp i ended up mingling more with the sec 2/3, even with some of the boys my age. haha. i realised how RJ students can be SOOOO SLOOOOWWWW. hhahaa. daniel and nat are good examples =) but it's ok. i still love u guys all the same =)

bah. i better study. i don't have much time left. oh boyyyy...but i must continue blogging...reflecting is good. =) makes ur brain work, helps u learn and realise things =) blogging is....COOL STUFF ;p

organising!

i realised during qt today, that God allows things to happen for a reason. even if it means having me to commit a sin =( u see. if i didn't fall into temptation and actually succumb to it,today's qt wouldn't be imapctful at all. and i also realised that when God promised that He will take u by the hand and lead u every step of the way, He will do that. As temptation lurked, His voice was loud and clear, warning me. yet, i ignored it. and i sufferred the consequences for it i could feel the fear and guilt. i felt God withdraw His presence from me. and likewise, i couldn't bring myself to do my queit time because i felt so ashamed. yet, thanks to the teachings of church and SFC, i knew that God would forgive me and i could still return to Him =) God made use of this chance to teach me. and i'm thankful for it. not only did He try and prevent me from committing the sin, He also taught me stuff about obedience, and the rewards that He used to attract me. It hit right in my heart and things are different now.

it's cool how u know it's really God when u can always remember that particular verse even though u never bothered remembering it. to prove that it's really clear, let me tell u that i can't even remember the famous verse of john 3:16 clearly (partly because i've been influenced by so many versions everything is mixed up =S) anyway. to all the Christians out there. this verse made me decide to really try and give up the things that are wrong in the eyes of God. it's super difficult. but knowing what's at the end is what will give u strength to carry on =)
1 Thess 4:8 "Therefore, he who rejects this instruction (living a Holy life) does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit."

anyway, i was packing my room. or rather. i tried to. cos i personally believed that i merely just spreaded the mess around the house. HAHAHAHA. let's look at the mess i created =S (this is already considered not as bad as previously. i already cleared up ALOT!!)



during this packing, i realised what a sentimental person i am. i'm so unwilling to throw so many things away. keeping even my spoilt specs that broke into half. harry potter style. only i dun have magic to repair it. nor can i use scotch tape to save it =( i also realised how useful the church sermons were. all these while my mind was always shut. i always had this mental blockage that church sermons were useless and boring. but when i looked through them i was WHOA. these stuff are USEFUL! so ok. from now on i shall try and stay alert during sermons. however boring they are.

man. it feels good to be organised =)