school reopened

it's sad that the holidays are over yes?? i'm looking forward to the next holiday. haha.

i got to stay at home more often than before, considering how i used to be out at ARC everyday preparing for the competition. during this holiday i learnt and realised my dad's love for him and because of that, i realised i'm starting to love him back too.

like all asian dads, my dad doesn't like to show his love for us openly. in fact, he likes to deny it, insisting that we love him only when he has money or when there's food for us. through how he acts childishly in front of me just to get my attention to all the different kinds of goodies he brings home for me just because he knows i love them, to the disturbing the rest of the family before we sleep just so he can talk to me...and staying up even though he's tired to watch soccer with me. perhaps i never realised his love for me in the past cos i seldom got to see him. he works at night, so when i'm in school, he's at home, while when i'm at home, he's at work.

anyway, apart from this dad, i have another father from above. i don't know why, but lately my relationship with him haven't been too good. my QT feels like routine, as if im doing it just for the sake of doing so and i'm not gaining much. i wish i could get back my love and passion for him once again. a passion and a hunger for Him, with the time spent with Him full of quality and so personal. it frustrating when u seem to hear bits and pieces from Him and yet you can't figure out what He is trying to say to you. ARGHZ. it's annoying.

so school has started and after studying in school today, i realised it is much more effective and i take less than half the time to finish studying what i'm supposed to, compared to when i'm at home. got to run after i studied too. haha. i feel accomplished. JIA YOU!!!!!!