school's finally out (about time) and as usual...it doesn't really feel much different. it's like when you're stuck in it you feel so suffocated but then when you get out it's like the load hasn't really lifted either. then you feel kinda cheated and empty cos there's no legit reason to you feeling so lousy and bummed out :S

Well..what can i say? Life's confusing.

I think I didn't really put in my best this quarter cos i was quite xianed out by everything and 3 studios, 16 projects in 10 weeks is really quite draining. Thank goodness school functions of a 10 week quarter system. My digital page and web professor was very impressed with my website, more so cos it's only my second legit website that's built from scratch (design, coding etc). BUT BUT BUT the thing that made me feel really good about myself was how he said that my website was a grad student's website standard (BOO-YAH!) which is pretty awesome considering how little i know about website design. it just helps to be OCD and obsessed about such things and details. I really like web designing. it's fun with the coding. makes you feel smarter than other people for once. HAHAHA.

Second awesome thing is for my final project in my other class, my professor decided to submit it into another competition. YAY!

She found my work to have a nice balance of playfulness and professionalism which is very great. The best thing that can happen to you in a critique is have everyone try and find something bad about the work just because it's so good and it's happened to me multiple times in that class. I think with this motion graphics class (ironically without the motion. we're just designing still frames and concepts) I really pushed myself and broke out of my usual vector graphic style which is great cos i'm quite happy to see a different kind of work in my portfolio :)

i need to stop whining and man up. things have happened and nothing can turn things back. I think I might be suffering from mild panic attacks cos those sudden emotional thingy about the housing comes and go like the wind.

anyhows....just 1 more day of classes left and i'll be out and done by 1.30pm tmr.

best thing that came out of this quarter? my portfolio website. Since it's done up pretty dang well I won't have to worry about a whole load of work over the summer other that updating more work. YAY.

check it out: www.gloriawu.com

I think it was a good thing I had finals to take things off my mind about housing. but now that i'm almost done with finals and able to pack, the fact that I'm no longer living here by the end of the week KILLS me. As I pack, I recall that it just seems a short while ago that I unpacked everything and started a brand new life, my first rented apartment, my first time having my own room, my own bathroom, a tv in my room, setting it up my way, decorating it, just taking in how amazing God had been in providing this place.

I can't help but tear on my insides, wishing i could rewind time back to the day I made the decision to move, against my doubts and gut feeling that things might not work out. I guess I was greedy in getting a better deal - living with a good friend, no more parties, good location, good price, more fridge space, no worries about utilities, transport, extra space including a big wardrobe where I can actually conduct stop motion animation projects for class etc. All at a slightly cheaper price of what I will be paying. Ironically, it was the price and the amount of money I could save on living expenses and rent that made me decide to move after calculating the cost of living here alone over the summer and paying all the bills by myself for 4 months and the next year's summer over my internship due to no subletting. I tried to save my family more money and I ended up screwing myself over. I guess this is God's way of telling me not to take things into my own hands and just trust in His provision.

Now as i hunt for a new place it's hard to find one that I can feel comfortable in. There are many places here no doubt, but few are not mouldy and crawling with the famous savannah roaches, spiders and bugs due to the humidity. Especially for the hot summer and fall. When I had decided to move in with MIchelle, there weren't things to worry about other than waiting for things to go through. Now, I'm struggling to find a roommate, struggling with the budget, struggling with the knowledge of how expensive things are when shared among just 1 or 2 people. just by myself, internet would be around $50 a month, with utilities, things could easily shoot up to $150, $200 or even more. I can only sit and pray that God would provide something along the way.

Things are awkward between michelle and I now and I don't know if I can talk to her now because any reminder of just her reminds me of the house I am losing and it guts my inside out. I've not only lost a good place to live, but also a good friend. Though we got together in a group the other day for a meal....I can't help but admit things are no longer the same. We can't even hold a conversation or say hi to one another anymore. It's hard because she was one of my bestest friend here and compared to my other friends, she was the only one whom I would hang out with and now it's gone, I feel like a hermit with no friends. True...I still have Naomi and a bunch of other people, but they weren't as close.

I feel foolish for that decision and nothing I could do could turn it around. It sucks because in this case, there's no one to blame but myself. Finding a new place would be hard in comparison to what I have right now. Dear Lord...kill this feeling of pain pleasseeeee

usually by this time of the quarter I would be counting down to the end for celebration.

this quarter though....things have gone sort of haywired and all my plans including for the summer has been thrown off :( sadness. the only thing I can think about in relation to time is:

OH SHIT...NO TIME TO FINISH MY PROJECT....mai gan chiong mai gan chiong...maybe i should pon class...hmmmm...

yeah. it's not that big a deal unless you calculate the amount of money u are losing per class then it's horrible. but seriously...with finals, every class is a studio class. you don't learn anything...with the exception of motion tech 2 which is only helpful if you have done your work and ask minny-ho questions...and digital page and web class because we're actually learning stuff like how to use dreamweaver and upload videos etc.

all i can think about right now is....I WANT A MASSAGE. yes. a nice full body thai massage to stretch and knead away at my stiff, rigor mortis muscles/fats would be PERFECT right now. My work requires me to sit down in the exact same chair in limited positions for long periods of time and what do i do at work as a tutor? I sit down in the same exact few limited positions. what about class? the same thing....it's no wonder my hips are ginormous. it has grown to support the weight of my body. this is possibly a very logical explanation for why i have small feet. yes yes.

on the bright side....if i ever get paralyzed, it's not so bad because at least i won't feel the need to stretch and ache. that is...if i can still use my hands to work. I cannot imagine having to be fed. HOW TO EAT??? I'm always nervous about not being able to control food cos i tend to choke. I can't even feed myself watermelon and porridge without gagging cos i can't chew it properly...i fear....airplane spoonfuls.

righto...back to slogging my back out >.<

i am going to the mall for a chinese massage once school is done and i get my stuff packed and moved. how i miss my dad.....'s massages. HAHAHAHAHA/

i am an unfilial daughter.

with 2 weeks left, I've come to the final decision of subletting. I didn't have a choice because a friend who lived in the most perfect location for my summer school had to have an answer today and if I denied her...i would have very well have ended up with no place to live and I didn't want to end up just settling for a place and feel all miserable for the rest of the year and deal with having to move all over again. I guess this is good because if i ever need to hang around after i graduate or if for some reason i didn't finish all my classes to graduate on time, I still have a place to stay for the summer of 2012.

it's been a tough few weeks with the struggle and stress of finding a place. It didn't help that friend after friend bailed on me for housing and nothing had worked out. I guess it was all in God's plans to make sure I really had no choice but to sublet for the summer and then find something else during the summer. Also great to be able to finally focus in class and on homework without having to think about housing ALL the time.

I guess it was really hard and then I went to church this morning and everything was about how God held everything and everyone in His hands. Sermon was about having faith and trusting in God. and that meant going first not knowing what the end outcome will be. I don't know how Abraham did it because it's probably way harder for him to move his entire clan and be accountable to them, then having to claim a land that wasn't even theirs...it's almost like telling me to chase my roommates away and saying that God wants me to have it. I can't help but keep wishing I could turn back time and follow my gut feeling to deny michelle and stay on here even though rent is increasing just $25 a month (though if you think about it..this accumulates and electric bills here per month is outrageous especially in the summer)

I don't think know what God has in stored for me for the remaining 2 years. For now....I just have to trust in Him....and walk.

i've don't think I've come across so many people who dealt with drugs in my entire life until now. No wonder the standard of america is going down. How can the wonderful parts of it be sustained if so many people were high on weed????

Pretty much every place I've seen involved drug dealing/daily consumption of marijuana and God knows what other drug. The first house I saw was seriously owned by this stoner dude. bearded face, dazed eyes, drony voice. The place didn't smell like pot or whatsoever, but the moment I heard he had friends over regularly to smoke in the living room, I knew I was out. Especially since it was awkward and I can't imagine myself living with a stoner dude.

Second place I saw was a student housing that had 7 rooms, 3 bathrooms shared by 7 kids. not so bad if you do the maths. Except that 1 refrigerator was shared by all. No doubt we would all have our own mini fridge, but there would be NO place to store my bulk of freezer food. especially since I like freezing my food to make it last longer. Second problem was....there was no laundry facility! how can anyone not have a laundry facility in an area of residence when the nearest laundrymat required driving a while outside of downtown savannah??? I don't have a car and I can't afford to ask a friend..ie. michelle. to give me a ride there every 2 weeks. So this had no drugs...at least it wasn't said...but i mean...no one really keep tracks of the kids there.

Third place I saw was right behind the library. nice place, nice house, really nice and windy with a great view that would be awesome to people watch and relax and wind down. unfortunately, it would have been with 2 guys. both of whom smoke, one smoked marijuana. No doubt they were nice but I didn't think my mum would have approved of it and indeed she didn't. Even if my friends who knew them said I would be safe with them.

Things got really depressing for me by this point after NOTHING had popped up and every other possible things were just....drugged. After quite a bit of exasperated crying and kneeling in prayer to God things finally lightened up and there is some hope in the air.

I found a place down on Gaston that is slightly too far for me and rather troublesome to travel around, but it's within my budget and I wouldn't have to worry about furniture, cooking utensils etc. plus...i would have my own bathroom. The only thing that's stopping me from signing a deal right now is how it's just inconvenient for me to live there, especially to travel to and fro from the house to a school building to catch a bus to class and back and BLAH..what if it rains?!?! walking would take forever.

Second place was very interesting. I was told by the landlord that the current tenant was away on a family emergency and when we went into the house, the landlord found the guy IN the house in his underpants. thank goodness I was polite and waited outside so I didn't see a single thing but the kid living there saw me and came out dressed and told me not to rent the place because the people who lived upstairs were drug dealers and very very noisy. so...THAT was interesting.

blah...things seem to be slowing back down to a stop and I was fine and dandy at first but now as I think about what I'm going to do and how hard it is to find another place like the one I'm at, I get quite depressed and upset. sigh.

urgh...i feel so miserable now. Thanks to michelle and her mum I've lost good housing and I'm stuck floating around during the summer. I don't know what to do and I'm so stressed out. good Lord.

urgh I am pissed beyond description at michelle. How could I have trusted her and her mother again when they screwed me over the last time already?!? this time it seemed so sure with the real estate agent involved and us seeing the house and everything. and now I am possibly reduced to nothing.

I had like such a wonderful place despite all the drama and it sucks even more that after it was pretty fixed with 2 other girls taking our places that things are so nice now. No parties, no guests, hardly anyone's at home. ARGHZZZZZ. Why did I not follow my gut feelings about this thing?!?! swayed by emotions and delight of being able to live with a good friend. ahhh..i'm so pissed to be thrown into this situation now especially after i've been so spoilt by my current one.

I feel really bad to be throwing all these unto michelle and her mum especially since they feel super bad for promising all these things and now have me totally nothing and seriously screwing me over big time. i need to know that my housing situation is settled because I only have 3 weeks left. YIKESSSSS.

ARGHHHHHHH

so michelle just called me and she breaks news that she thinks could potentially sever our friendship and I knew it was gonna be bad. she's telling me to throw away all plans with her and find my own solution.

great.

yet i cant be angry with her cos she's so upset about it and it's not entirely her fault either.

WHY OH WHY.