GeePee is over and hopefully i dun ever need to see if ever again.

It's in your court now God. Hypnotise the marker pls.

i'm so unproductive that even IVF can't help me in my production. BAH. i mean.i spend like more than 12 hrs in school but my slower than snail pace in studying/working isn't quite helping me. OH DEARIE ME. i need 10000 hours a day and study till i drop dead and eyeballs pop out and bounce around me to mock me so i would give them a break and stop trying to read between every single letter in the question to find the secretly hidden answers.

i'm being very unhealthy nowadays. i drink coffee, teh-bing, not water. i eat loads of cup noodles that my stomach and body is rejecting food. so my stomach is hungry, but i just have no appetite. i honestly thing i'm screwing up my body. i eat, sit, study, sleep, repeat. stuff my body with so much wax from the cup noodles that by the time i finish my A levels, you might be able to get a life-sized gloria wax statue for the madame tussaud's museum...that is if they even needed my statue.

ah...just a little while more. meanwhile...enjoy the love from the muslim store aunty :)

i;m such a bummer

i feel that i'm working less as compared to what i used to for prelims. BAH. oh the horrors. and i'm not even prepared for the mock exams. let alone the actual As. THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh dearie me. i'm slacking so much. facebook, blog surfing, neopets. ah yes. the bane of all slacking activities. neopets. who says it's outdated? even though facebook is kinda on the "hip" list right now as neopets used to be...it still can't beat neopets on the time consuming and fun scale.

i made my younger bro pack his stuff to make way for his new secondary school stuff cos he's super free and bored. but even that useless bugger can't even clean up properly. i know we use only 10% of our brains...but i beg to differ for his case. lol. i'm such an EVIL sister. Looking at him pack is quite frustrating and the kaypohness within me was dying to do the packing and clearing for him. at least my room has less clutter now. i can't wait for my turn!!!

i think i've reached the state of heck-careness for the As. all the past exams and stuff as kinda numbed me to the thing thong thang of exams and grades. kinda sick and tired of my notes and stuff. but i dun think it really accurately reflects how much i've studied. HO HUM MY BUM...blarh. i'm officially screwed and only a miracle can save me.

on one hand i can't wait for haloween to arrive cos that marks the day i can start counting down to the ending of the papers and the start of my freedom. but on the other hand. i'm quite scared becos of the unpreparedness for the As. OH DEAR..lit, chem, maths and bio. DEARIE Me. not to forget there's GEEPEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. SOBZ.

oh bummer.

oh ya. i realised that coffee really helps me to sit down and study properly....for a few hours at least. once i start getting fidgety it's quite hard to study. but it's still better than nothing. when i get fidgety i feel like i;m going to get fits soon because that's how fidgety i feel. i'm wondering if one day halfway through my exams i'll start having fits from the adrenalin rush released by the coffee and the stress of the papers. at least then i;ll have an excuse for not doing well.

studying in the study room at the clubhouse has made me find out more about my neighbours. the management is dumb to set the KTV room in between the 2 study rooms and the worse thing is...it's not sound proof. hence...while studying, i get a free session of familiarising myself with songs like "tong hua", "lao shu ai da mi", jj lin songs "mu nai yi", "yi qian nian yi hou" and "dou jiang you tiao". chinese songs are really quite nice and once the As are over i shall be the one to irritate the study room users. LOL. i believe it saves more moolah than k box. seriously, my neighbours cant sing for nuts and the repeated songs they sing within one session just goes to show how little songs they know. there's this cannot sing guy who goes to the KTV at least once every week cos every saturday he's there hogging the room, singing the same ole songs. the worst part is he can't exactly reach the high notes. so imagine how much i cringe in my seat as i study. i honestly doubt that the goosebumps i get ain't from the cold aircon but rather from his singing.

hmm..slight more than a month to freedom :)

first heard about this quote or rather saw this quote on jon's blog. it was too cheem beyong my understanding. then during assembly today, i had another encounter with it all thanks to some spelling bee show. cool stuff. then again. up till now i still dun understand it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

then again, that's probably because i stand on the other side where i see more inadequacy then the possibility of even being great. everyone's sending their applications to overseas universities. all those prestigious ones, getting projected results and stuff. i on the other hand.....don't even stand a chance to get into our local unis. maybe not even long kang uni.

sigh. i completed my chem syllabus and when mrs loi threw a POP quiz. chemistry became CHEEM-MYSTERY. i just felt so BAH.

what am i created to be good for? where is my greatness? i dunno. i really am unsure of how my future will be like.

sigh.

Today's chapel was the only good thing that happened today i reckon. our very last chapel. time flies so fast :( still, our rehearsal, the time spent together praying for one another, sharing. it really reminded me of how important accountability is in our Christian faith. we can never stand alone. on one hand while i know i'm not alone in all these troubles, somehow i have completely no idea how i'm going to get through it. thank you wan lin for reminding me to trust in God once again. thank you kevin for choosing this song for chapel and thank you wan lin for helping me to sing the song from my heart, enabling me to sing and worship during our last chapel.

When troubles come i'll trust in You

For i know You will lead me through

and I know You're faithful till the end

and when the storms are drawing near

when i'm with You i don't have to fear

You're my shepherd on whom I can depend

Through the day, through the night

I know You're always by my side

Lord You are ALWAYS here with me

there is no changing God in thee

You are the same yesterday, and today, and forevermore

Here on Your promises i stand,

You hold my future in Your hand

My solid rock, almighty God,

I worship You.

Dear God. pls help me to really trust in You. Give me the wisdom to understand my work, the perseverance to press on despite adversity and trials. Bring me through like You always do.

the school is really pretty at night.

plus, it takes on a whole new life.

lizards mating, mouse scampering, lizards and crickets chirping etc etc

school at night is pretty, calm, and it looks really nice in the long kang's reflection. sometimes u see a shaky picture of the school in the water because the wind is blowing. sometimes it's a nice pretty mirror becos the water is so calm

the night air is fresh

the school is quiet and peaceful

it's super nice to study there

minus the guard whom i can predict what he's gonna say "only way out is the side gate. becos i have to patrol the school. principal tell me to lock the main gate. i cannot go toilet. sit there stupidly waiting for your parents to come. i don't care. side gate open till 9" and there off he goes rambling off in the distance and i just gawk at his disappearing silhouette....

i love SA at night even better :)