spontaneity is rather fun. or so i learnt today.

out of utter boredom and frustration of being home, i decided to spontaneously travel out of my house and take 1.5 hrs to travel down to East Coast Park for a "me time" of cycling :) plus, not to mention the sun was so nice and sunny and i figured it'll be a good time to re-tan my now fair self. being fair is so gay and i don't like it. hahaha. I like being nice and toasted. hahaha

anyway, i really enjoyed my time as i cycled from one end to the other to unexplored areas of east coast park and it was seriously a huge ball of fun :) cycled from the rental shop at the skating rink down to bedok jetty to some bougainvillea flower park thingy however u spell that to OBS all the way down to Singapore sailing club thingy. then back down to bedok jetty then back up again to the end and then heading back to the rental then further down to the next jetty then back up again all the way past the chalets then back down again. non-stop cycling for 2 whole hours and now my legs are sour until dunno like what. it's a very annoying nagging sour-ness in my mus-cles and my ass bone hurts like crap cos of lousy bike seats that leave my big ass totterring for balance on a minute point which is the puny bicycle seat. hahahaha.

all of a sudden i discover there's so much more to Singapore than what i thought i knew. with the nice breeze in my face, the sunny sun shining down on me and my earphones plugged into my ears with happy music. man....it was so nice and relaxing. not that i need much relaxing, but it was still shiokkk...

my stop at bedok jetty left me watching the waters and though it ain't as clear as i wished it could be, i managed to catch a pinkish red jelly fish with smaller baby jellyfishes which looked more like dots and small red fishes tagging along. it was so cool :) left me smiling like an insane girl. then on my way back, i noticed what was on the floor! it was damn funny. it was like pictures of stickman on the ground showing what would happen if bikers and skaters were on the walking/running path. it was so amusing. ahaha. got those comic book sound effects. next time u're there do look out for them!!!!

spent the day well and i'm happy and dandy :) i'm going to make mondays my cycling day. but next monday is zoo day with nat wee and the girls :) heh heh

whoever wants to join me cycling can just drop me a call to arrange :) i'll welcome you to join me on a discovery of Singapore on my usual rented shiny red bike :D

WARNING!!!

OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVERLOAD

that's how work as has been during this week. it is incredibly insane. the workload at church really comes in tsunami waves. IT HITS YOU WITHOUT WARNING (HIGHLIGHT THE PREVIOUS PART) and then after a while it dies down and all seems calm and my table is in total mess.

After Amy left, I've been tasked to do all stuff related to design and bulletin and website updating while pacey has been bombarded with admin work and all the stuff that i can't handle cos i'm drowning. the month of july is truly insane with July Missions month and all it program planning and preparation (which there is a mountain high load for KJ), the move to Kuo Chuan - the preparation of publicity and signages to help get people around, the whole "everybody is trying a makeover in ministry" projects of changing the looks of stuff, AGM and now we've even taken over the secretariot job of answering calls and door. haha. it's insane.

the office has been quiet with little noise, what with all the work load the 2 young interns have been smacked with and the absence of amy, background singing and entertaining me. ah sad. it's going to be an insane month in which you will find bobo and i rejoicing at 6pm the moment the office doors close behind us. hahaha.

still, it ain't all that bad cos we have one another. As high school musical goes..."WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER..." **cheesy**

i finally understand why amy has such a huge obsession with muay thai and gymming. after watching flashpoint...i was like WHOAAA...that's DAMN COOL. the contender hasn't really showed much of the cool side of muay thai. the fights have been on extreme ends, either violent or non-existent. still, the fight between david and jarbar was pretty cool though i felt the punches that jarbar pulled were pretty sucky. i didn't understand how they judged that caused david to lose even though he was throwing better punches and kicks and what nots. even his elbow was nicer.

anyway, i have taken a liking to muay thai and i probably will take it up if resources allow me to. right now, i'm training myself up for it with daily runs and stuff. it makes me feel alot more alive and i feel more confident :) happiness.

anyway, was at the gym running and there was some neighbour teaching and learning muay thai. it was so cool. i took free lesson by secretly watching and listening. haha. it gave me energy to run man. run until sweat like crap. damn shiok :) felt ALIVE BABY! hahaha.

I finally found someone who was super eager to room with me and we're so alike. we're even such nerds at playing spider solitaire we are such addicts. hahaha. like we'd play it all the way before we sleep and we won't stop until we win but then after we win we want to win again so we try but then we lose and then we dun stop until we win....it's a vicious cycle. haha. BUT BUT BUT....sadly....i think we've all been assigned roommates already cos the residence committee encouraged us to settle all our preferences by 6 June which is looonnngg over and oh well...just pray hard that fate brings us together. haha. but whatever it is, we've decided to hang out together and i can go play with her golden retriever :)

oh Lord.......be nice and grant us as roomies pls....

PACEY and i made up for our loser date last week :)

this time, we managed to get fantastic seats for KUNGFU PANDA! which was by the way, quite a joy to watch...even if it was full of lame jokes and slapsticks. but nonetheless, it was a great time of chillaxing (a combination of chilling and relaxing). We had such fun laughing and the cinema had quite a bit of small kids. there was this point in the movie where master SHEEFUUU and panda bowed to one another in a peaceful scene then this kid when HAAIIIYAAA. which was quite anti climatic. aha. nonetheless, we had a good laugh over it.

PLUS...the movie was made more entertaining by the uncanny resemblance of po with shaun ong, who also happens to be so often dressed in white with a big stomach :) everytime po did something retarded i would think of shaun and i couldn't help but stiffle my laughter (i don't want to say giggles cos giggles sounds gay). MAN....bobo and i are so tempted to get him a hairband with panda ears and buy him sunnies so he'll look like po. shaun is like a major mascot for kungfu panda. 8 days shouldn't have bothered getting the mascot costume cos we have one right in the office :D while shaun wants to bring me home and keep me as a pet in a cage to amuse him, i want to bring him home as a big cuddly stuffed toy. but then he's so big, he'll take up all the space on me bed and then i'll have no were left to sleep. :(

after the show we continued bumming around vivo and went shopping around for some cg stuff and we had fun at action city and mini toons (which i had confusingly termed as mini city in a state of highness) playing with the lil nitty gritty and nick nacks. we were very much tempted by hairband ears and fluffy shoes and wear them on in the church office to bring in some fun and well needed entertainment. haha. but it's such a waste of money so we forgo it. ah well.. it could have been mighty fun. if only we could just rent it and then return it. haha.

and pacey got red mickey mouse crocs!!! haha. more entertainment to come man. it's just hilarious i feel. to me crocs aren't comfortable at all and they look like crap man. haha. but it's ok. pacey looks like a clown in them but she likes them. hahaha. i love u pacey!!!

today is an emo day :(

today is my boss's last day and i'm devastated. I'm gonna miss seeing her everyday, getting bullied, tackled, tickled by her, our lunches, suicide runs and the like. Work will be even more boring without my boss's retardedness and bouts of randomness. There won't be sufficient people to finish up the ribena pops we invested in. No more ribena breaks, nobody to share the joy of coke with even though i hardly drink it anymore.

having had amy as my cell grp leader in sec 3, having had her at the point of time where i returned to the Lord and had my hurts healed, to have her praying for me and just giving me the physical cuddles that i needed for comfort, her many words of advice and encouragements...i've found myself very much emotionally attached to her. She is like to me a da jie in my life though i've never called her that cos i believe she'll detest it. Nonetheless, the knowledge of the sudden decline in time spent with her is very depressing and i shockingly found myself on the verge of tears after we gave her the farewell card and received much affection and hugs in return. I don't know how i'm going to cope when i have to leave even more friends and loved ones behind when i do leave for the states in September :(

ah wells. i left for and joined the sfc gathering in a rather down-spirited mood cos well..good byes are very difficult things. and i found myself stuck to the majority of guys half of the table which meant a whole entire conversation of army talk. well...while i'm used to it, it didn't help lift my spirits considering that i barely knew what they were talking about while the girls sat on the other side of the table. I realised that after not meeting and catching up there's very little to talk about. like all of a sudden we are mere acquaintances, knowing one another, but have hardly anything to talk about. I found myself feeling quite out of place and in the end i just couldn't wait to go home and leave the grp behind.

it didn't help either that i had another clique in class who had been going out on regular basis without informing me about it and have myself finding out by accident through their blogs or when one of them randomly asks me i'm going for it. I realised with sudden sadness that perhaps all the friends i thought would last forever was just an emotional phase and it's just an ideal to have friends staying for life.

by far, the only friends who have remained constant are my brudders. i guess perhaps it's cos we went through so many different things together as a team, there's so much to talk about, and we can simply just relax and chill with one another.

then again...i don't know. i'm just afraid that at such a rate, by the time i return from my overseas studies, i'll have no one left in Singapore to really be friends with. :(

oh emo day.

I had originally wanted to rant about the church camp. Simply because it was an issue i've been struggling with and i really didn't want to face it or solve it. but though i didn't get it resolved during the camp itself i think God stirred something within me and to be honest, i think i was meant to be at the camp whether or not i enjoyed it. As much as i don't exactly want God to win in this one, I know it's something that i can no longer run away from or reject it if I really want Him to work in my life. If i do finally have a break through in this, everything else in my spiritual walk will be a step higher :)

while i may think God passed me by on the day He ministered to the entire camp, where His presence was made known with trembling and uncontrolled crying and healing, both physical and emotional, perhaps I did experience Him in my midst of resisting Him. If i don't recall wrongly, i think i did HEAR him in my head talking to me and helping me to straighten things out. I was on the verge of swinging to the good side...but oh well...my own feelings got the better of me and once again, i resisted. I must be so stupid i swear.

nonetheless, camp was made less painful with the friends i made (my brother's batch of kids and the older bunch) as well as my primary 1 girls who kept looking for me and playing with me during meal times that made me feel so loved :D Hearing how they rededicated their lives to the Lord during camp, seeing them perform for gala night just made my heart melt with joy and well up with such pride. Oh goodness....at this rate i'll explode when i finally have my own lil kids. hhahaha.

ANYWAY.... camp aside, bobo is finally back from Thailand (so is rachel) and we managed to go out on a date tonight. A loser date, but albeit, still a date :)

We planned to go out after work for Kung Fu Panda. But being the kiam siap people that we are, we decided to buy tickets only when we reached cathay since there's the student discount. haha. BUT LO AND BEHOLD. WHEN WE WENT THERE...queuing for tickets when the tickets got sold out...BISH...then we moved on to GV at plaza sing to try our luck but the queue was like soooo loonnngggg..like from KL to Singapore.PLUS THE JAM AT THE WOODLANDS CHECKPOINT. hahaha. madness..so we gave up and decided to go for dinner and just CHILL out :)

so we went to ajisen ramen and stuffed ourselves silly with ramen and off we headed to Made with Love cos we were so totally fit for that shop. MADE WITH LOVE :) we are pacies tied together by the red string, paired made perfect in heaven. HAHAHAHA. we have awesome telepathy :) sadly. today's time at made with love was that fun..good in a sense cos we weren't tempted to blow our dough on scrapbooking materials. i still don't get why scrapbooking stuff are so blardy ex. It's meant to be SCRAPbooking for a reason. IE..SCRAP MATERIALS. but here we are blowing our pay cheques on materials. BLARH. haha.

we headed to Times bookstore to check some stuff out and i'm so going to buy the cool pictionary mania there. it sounds damn fun. Kudos to liz chay who got me hooked on pictionary. i have finally relived the fun and joy in such games :) I AM NOW KNOWN AS KAN CHIONG SPIDER. cos that's just how i was during the last night of church camp while we played at Kenneth's room :D

then after times we decided to be tempted by ice cream at gelare and pamper ourselves silly. so that was our plan #2 after our movie plan. so there we were happy at the prospect of such pampered lifestyles. We sat down, got up again to settle our ice cream flavour for the waffle and LO AND BEHOLD. we are such poor mungens we barely have enough for plain waffle :( so POOF goes our gelare pampering. Thus our "not-so-well-going" date became a "loser" date cos we failed at practically everything. We thus decided to degrade our standards and go somewhere we could actually afford- McFlurry. hahaha which by the way..my pacey couldn't afford. but it's ok. this pacey can and being the nice perfect other half that i am, i lent her money and then i got broke. hahaha. but icecream was still ice cream and it was still a wonderful time of fellowship while we reminisced on the past especially on our teachers and their weird quirks :D

and tmr marks the last day of my boss at work :( lunch has been reduced from a foursome to a threesome and now finally...twosome :( we can no longer share half a duck, char siew and shao rou. now we just have to make do with 2 plates of duck rice. sigh :(

but it's alright. I shall be happy for my boss cos i love her. and if she's happy, i'm happy. my blessings shal go with her even as she goes on to be a full time muay thai instructor. speaking of muay thai. I am very much tempted to go learn it cos it's just soooo cool. Watching Flash Point and Contender...man.....i'm going to learn it ok. and i'm SADDED that the hot thai guy in contender got out just cos he didn't want to fight with his other thai friend in the match and allowed him to win. sigh...sad that that's the end of my eye candy but i'm proud of his high moral values and standards in life. YOU GO THAI BOY!!!!!!! ROCK ON!!!!!!

one day...i'll come out being as tough and cool as amy is :) hahahaha. she is all DA JIE DA and i want to be all that she is...minus the scandalousness. hahaha. she and her scandalous clothes all covered by her decent jacket. hahaha. but you know....WE STILL LOVE ONE ANOTHER. (our cheapest way of making up to one another everytime we disturb each other..or rather..when she disturbs/bullies me) :D

my ass hurts a mega huge load cos the brudders cycled for like one million miles. haha. kidding. we just cycled for 2 hours and my butt has been moulded by the bike seat. some product designer kid better come up with a better design that will make bikes more comfortable man!

anyway, we tried to teach debby and clarissa how to cycle though i still don't get how u can ever teach anyone such psychomotor skills verbally :S all we could think of telling them was...LOOK STRAIGHT..JUST PEDAL! lousy kind of advice. but ah wells. there was this really nice ang mo who tried to teach and help clarissa to cycle but failed. but she was still nice. this is why i love ang mos. cos they are so much friendlier and nicer than asians....then again..i think it's just singaporeans. we're such ugly people. not physically but more character wise.

anyway. we had a good time cycling and it's been like such a long time since i last cycled and all. brings back all the good memories of first 3 months. Since it's the june hols, it means like half of the Singaporean population is at east coast and it's damn bloody crowded. and i swear there's a whole load of china migrants coming to Singapore. everywhere we go you see at least a group of them. it's very scary. There was this HIGHLY annoying woman with a dog who kept ringing the bell at people as she cycled. WHY?? cos she's prob quite a new cyclist as well and she was afraid of crashing. like helloooo..how to go faster when there's people in front of you?!?! i got scolded by her for jamming break cos the person in front of me did so too!!! bloody shitttt. go back to ur country laaaaa. annoyance -___-'''

Singapore is just wayyyyy too crowded nowadays. ah welllssssss

nvm. put all that behind and we went for a superbly yummy seafood dinner :P yays. like a big happy family. we had the whole aircon place to ourselves :) heh. sambal kang kong, cereal prawns, chilli crab, man tous, hokkien mee. total yum :) and awesome time spent together after what seems like a million years.

what would i do without my brudders??? i would sit at home and rot as a smelly rotting couch potato :)

now my body is spasming from the exercise. haha. stupid retard.

it’s been quite a long while and i still haven’t heard from Jill or Julie about rooming together. I’m just hoping that it’s because they are busy/away and has thus far been unable to check their facebook accounts or go online. still, i was thinking and worrying about roommates when it dawned upon me that whatever it is, God is in control and i can rest in Him.

If I get roommates who are non-christians, then so be it. God will bring me friends who are strong in the Lord to support me and i know there’s a purpose for me to reach out to those people. It’s very saddening that there are so many Americans born in Christian families and they know the gospel and all that and yet all they do is to go through the motion of religious rites and all that without catching on the true meaning of what Christianity is all about.

It seems like i have once again caught the whole passion about my purpose in an educational institute once again. Time and time again I’ve seen the reason why God placed me in different areas and i know my going to SCAD is not just a mere blessing or coincidence or just an additional and natural progression in my life. I’m placed there perhaps, to not just grow to be an artist for the Lord, to create beautiful works of art, to serve in the ministries, but perhaps, also to bring the recognition of the purpose, life and meaning of art to artists, the way God had intended it to be. I want to be able to capture the beauty of God’s creation, to bring to notice to people around, the beauty of God’s creation. I want to paint a picture of the garden of eden, solomon’s temple, a portrait of God, to capture the beauty, love and essence of God’s glory. I want to be an artist, to be who God has created me to be.

Despite all these major fears, I am thankful that during this period of time I will be able to grow in the Lord because I am left to no choice but to trust and rely in Him for strength and guidance. He is my rock, my shield and my shelter. In Him will i trust and lean upon. Him and no other.
He is my firm foundation, the solid rock in whom i can trust.

Lord reign in me. Reign in your power
over all my dreams, in my darkest hour
You are the Lord, of ALL I AM
So won’t your reign in me again!

Today's TF was quite pathetic. My cell group comprised of the 2 cell grp leaders and 2 members - cheryl and myself. After all that talk there's something weighing very heavily on my heart :(

It's been half a year already and still our cell group has made no progress. we keep trying to change things, fix things but it feels like we just keep trying and nothing gets acheived. I haven't had a proper cell group in a very long time, except for the time shaun ong came to do bible study with us. I feel cell group time has been such a waste of time cos everyone just keeps talking among themselves and nothing productive ever gets done. it's not even called cell group time for goodness sake. it's just hanging out/stoning. I miss the times where cell group was full of passion and hunger to just grow. I miss the times in cell group where we really sought the Lord and supported one another. URGHZZZZ...

i'm very exaperated. not annoyed. exasperated cos i wish i could do something about it but i just feel so helpless. I wish our cell group can be all settled before i leave Singapore. ahh..the burden of the cell group is so heavy i just wish to break down and cry and pray and cry out loud to the Lord. Just to intercede and all....i feel like exploding.

!@#$% URGHHHH GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :

still..despite all that...i'm happy for it because i know now my heart is once again soft to the Lord and i can serve Him better.

I'M BEING EMO :( STUPID PERIOD. GRRRRRRRRRR

PMS ain't just PRE...it's meant to be PERMANENT MENSTRUAL SYNDROME. before it comes, PMS is meant to warn u about it's arrival. when you're having it, PMS is meant to be a warning sign to others around you not to trample on your toes. After your period is over, PMS is merely a good excuse to use when u're being snappish.

HAR HAR. the only one good thing about being a woman. PERIOD :D (GET THE PUN?!?!?)

ah wells...

i was looking at the SCAD facebook grp and though i'm all excited about school, i'm really afraid about the whole fitting in, the difference in culture and all tha jazz. Everyone there is just excited about partying, drinking, hooking up with guys/girls, tattoos and piercing. all of which are ....errr...yeah. :(

so apart from all that excitement, there's this whole dark and grey and thick depressing cloud and i'm glad that i have a few days in the dorm alone to cry my heart out to God if there's a need for me to do so. oh emo emo... :(

anyway. just watched the new channel 8 9pm drama and it's really quite sad that alot of parents are just so busy for their kid. I feel very sad about it cos it may seem unimportant since the physical needs are met by like day care centres, maids and grandparents. sadly, that's not true that the kid is happy. there's alot of emotional needs that aren't met and it affects the character and self esteem of the child. aiya..this show is so emo about broken families. not like broken broken...more handicapped la. lousy mothers, lousy parents, lousy husband etc. i hope my family will never be like that :(

i had a strange dream last night. i have so many strange dreams i can write a book on them :)

i dreamt that my mum died/disappeared..whatever..basically i lost my mum la. then i was abit sad and i lamented that i missed her scolding and nagging. and somehow....i had a stepmother. and the moment i lamented and decided to rebel against my new stepmother (who was by the way...quite young), she herself started nagging and all. and then i switched 180 degrees around and decided i didn't miss my mum's nagging and annoying behaviours cos it still exists. hahaha.

then i went back to school and for some reason, my dream me existed in that dream before i got in and apparently i got this huge jock boyfriend. like the archie comic bad guy kind. haha. and then he died doing some stunt or smth. then i got all emo and sad and decided to self pity and be emo the whole time while my friends and teachers fuss around me. and then i ponned school. HAHAHA

weird dream. weird brain la. no biggie. haha! and thus ends gloria's small snippets of her big life :)