christmas in feb!

i'm so happy. so hyped up for God and all. i mean, God has just been revealing Himself more and more. and it's just AMAZING! perhaps it's easier cos jc life is pretty hard and u learn to depend on God even more, and the school's culture just doesn't let u run away from God. still. it's a good thing. and guess wad?!?!? now my class wants to start a class cell group!!! woohoo! more support. i think it's just so amazing that people often say that jc is the time when you just be selfish and all, yet our class is so bonded and helping one another. yay. 06S16 rocks. i'm really looking forward to creating this cell group in my class to just encourage and grow one another on =)

we celebrated christmas today. ya. christmas in feb. fancy that. i just took a look at the photos we took and i look horrid in all of them. haha. esp the obscene one. what was i thinking?!?!?!? somehow...my face looks SUPER RED. like i just got burnt or smth. but i know i'm not cos it wasn't even after PE =( ah wellz. maybe it's just the reflection of the hats. everyone was seriously in the christmas mood. i was already wishing people before school started. all those christmas presents/letters, wishing people including teachers (who either stared at us weirdly or played along), running around the track during pe singing christmas carols and pretending that running AIN'T a WEE BIT TIRING AT ALL! amazing. talk about class spirit. i'm always amazed at how we can make running look so effortless by doing chicken dance or singing songs and clapping while running =S

to make it all the mroe christmassy, we wore red party hats which we decorated and of course, hung christmas deco on our bags. and ni zhen the sweetie baked cookies for us. hahaha. yay. christmas has never been so fun in my entire life! i love our class =)

i seriously dun look forward to tmr though...err..crazy hair day??? what am i supposed to do??!?!?!??! hmmz.

my finger hurts like crap..owww...hurt it during captain's ball today during pe. i can't bend it. i think i sprained it or smth. boo....i think it' swollen =( the bone feels out of place. ahh..nvm. i shall try to slot it back in =)

my class rocks

hmm..i just recieved a letter from the navy. then again. i'm not so dumb to go and sign on. HAR HAR. esp not when i hate water. still...i reckon that their invitation is WAY cool =)

my throat's killing me...ARH...and i still had to go eat ljs with sarah and cheryl and debbo. poo. silly me.

i caught up with my peer support leader. FANCY THAT?!?!? it's so cool. i miss her loads. haha

italian is cool. i'm learning it for the sake of my alter ego - michealangelo.

my class is the best. the class blog is super updated DAILY, the tag board is tagged DAILY, we have DAILY ridiculous parties and events, we love each other dearly. yay. love makes the world go round =)

i'm blogging in point form. wonder why... haha.

school has been a horror. being both physically and mentally draining. ok. i din do much physical stuff except to just move from class to lectures to cafe and eat and laugh and act spastic. haha.

i thought i was pretty ok, until lit lesson, where i was truly discourage. i've been doing lit for the past wad...4 years? and i've barely improved, being continuously stuck at the "you have really good points, but you need to develop more. still, there is great potential in you". as encouraging as it may be to know that i do have "potential" in lit, i have yet to develop it...for the errr...2-3 years that i've been seeing that line? it didn;t help knowing that my 2 best friends who take lit are the top lit critics in class. i feel stupid, and it was all the more discouraging to see so many ticks and "good"s or "v,good" or "good point" or "wise points" (gee..i'm really practising my quotations =]) whereas my paper had "vague"s and "QUOTE!" or i don't know...funny comments on my paper. i realyl felt like shit and i wanted to cry =( and to make things worse, we were doing a poem on mutability. and i caught no balls whatsoever as to what it saying. so...to show my frustrations and great efforts of analysing the poem, i had to frown, catching our dear ms chua's eyes. and GEEEEE...she just HAD to call me. and of course, i didnt' disappoint her by returning her a very "noooo...why me" sort of face. haha. still, ms chua's nice =)

i'm really thankful to God for being my source of comfort and strength and support the past few weeks of school. it's so tiring and there's this great sense of emptiness when i didn't have Him beside me.(i sort of...err...wandered off). quiet time had never felt better. it's always great especially when you're down and out and somehow, He really does restore and i feel complete and eager to do everything for Him once again =)

my friends may make me feel insecure, but i really thank God for blessing me with friends that are always the top scorers. i mean, they may be smart, but still, they aren't snobbish and they are willing to help me out in my studies. which. heh. i DO gain from =) haha. and it helps even more that they are always so encouraging, never failing to just cheer my life in JC up. i mean hey. who does that sort of miming to "heal the world" or try to get abs by coughing and doing sit-ups at the same time just for entertainment purposes??? then again, i'm usually the only one doing such rubbish while they cheer me on and laugh. still. that makes me feel happy =)

God has blessed me with a great class and teachers as well. they're always so encouraging. haha. always there to offer us encouragements and advice and just listen to our rubbish....well..mine at least. i have the best chinese teacher, the best (and not fierce) lit teacher, a very encouraging chem tutor, a bug-eyed fierce yet good bio teacher, a realyl open and nice chinese teacher (who lets us scream in class while we watch a slapstick comedy haha) and of course, a wonderful class who is so united, a GREAT CCA with so many encouraging seniors, and of course, seniors who really show their love towards me. haha. i'm super pampered by them =)

ok. it's time to get back to carbohydrates and tutorial 3....LIPIDS...here i come!!!!!!!!! (oh wait...they are already here with me...DANG...get lost.)

phew. i'm tired out. my brain has just been SAPPED of all my brain juice just trying to think of what v.day msgs i need to write. of course, those that i'm close to are pretty easy cos you know how they have impacted your life. still.....

tomorrow's thanksgiving mass at IJ. won't be going. though pin has successfully tugged at my heartstrings. i really love her man. and for that, she deserves a valentine's day msg:

hey pin!
I REALLY MISS YOU LOADS TOO! it's so sad that u can't come to SA because of stupie moe-y's rule that scholars can't promote. only demote. how dumb is that system?!?!??! still, distance makes the heart grow fonder. i love u loads. i miss the times we sat together during exam times sleeping on each other and whacking each other to wake each other up. haha. and of course, i miss how u used to laugh at all my nonsensy songs =( SOB. i hope we can go on a date soon!!! MISS YOU LOADS!

i love my new fan club. haha. it has so many supporters yay. its the jason fan club. hur hur. only my classmates will understand. WAY TO GO! hahaha. and guess who got nominated as the president??? hmm..i wonder =S

shall stop here. it's LLLAAATTTTEEE

jc life...is stressful

haha. look what i got!!

Gloria -- [adjective]: Sexually stunning 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

it's so totally not true. hahaha. but it's still highly amusing. at least i'm better than chrystal..who got erm...fried chicken and vomit. hahahaha. i think it's totally random though. in what way is my name sexually stunning. plus, i don't reflect THAT! still. that really brightened up my day nonetheless. HAR HAR

here's another one:

Gloria -- [adjective]: Visually addictive 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

WAHAHAHAHHAHAA. man. i'm just GOOD =)

i pretty much love jc life. all that breaks and what nots. i just don't like the learning part. i'm struggling loads with my studies. boo. takes me a million years to understand. i really am a SLOOOOWWW learner. still, i have decided to make it a point to study hard and do my tutorials and try to pay attention during tutorials and not sprout vulgarities when i'm super frustrated. people u must help me ya! esp my loviesss - lynette, rachel and tracy. i have decided to take a break after struggling with the first question of my tutorial...and i still don;t know how to do it. i seriously need tuition. and my dad was being so encouraging when he jokingly responded to that line with "do u still want tuition when you go to uni?" geee....i honestly don't want any unless i really have no choice =S

my mind still sees the stupid plant cells that we studied for bio prac today. we were supposed to count the number of plant cells that appears in the field of view at 10x. they are PUNY. ms de silva just had to wait till we counted till about 300 plus to tell us to just give up cos there were 700-800 cells there. i feel like killing her. my eyes de-focused themselves and i couldnt' see the walls of the cells. HOW TO COUNT?!??!?!? now you know why more kids are getting myopia. it's all the education system's fault. tsk tsk.

anyway, lynette and i sorta came up with the idea of having christmas parties, halloween parties, pj parties and whatever parties you can think of at the wrong time of the year. haha. i sounds fun. like celebrating christmas in march, or celebrating new year in june that sort of crap. still, highly entertaining =)

i was quite hurt by suhui today when she told me i "xi xing yan jiu". it's not that i don't want to spend time with my brudders now that i have my own lovely friends in JC or that i am in love with my new cca instead of ARC. i still love them dearly, but my schedule just doesn't allow me to spend time with them =( esp with all that struggling with homework...i'm the stupidest jc student among them la. all of them have like wad. at least 5-7 distinctions and above? single digiters???? a levels will come really soon and if i dun study now...i'm gonna die and waste my 2 years in JC awayyyyy....bah. it's so dumb how anyone can be stressed at the start of jc1 life. it's the so called "honeymoon" year. if that's the case, i never want to go for a honeymoon. even when i get married. that is...if i ever. hahaha.

speaking of marriage, i realised with a horror the other day when i was just thinking to myself. i have no idea how to talk to guys. was joing with rach and lyn today that if a realyl cute guy comes up to me to just introduce himself i'll just go blank and they'll be nudging me and all, trying to wake me up. and then i'll just burst into tears, beating my chest, lamenting the fact that i'll never get a boyfriend and die a lonely old woman. hahahahaa. spinster. that;s just a rubbish thought. i've never been so rubishy in my entire life until JC. haha. it's a fun kind of rubbishly. i think i never appeared so happy in my entire life too. i mean..daily, i'm smiling. i think. hahaha.

ok. i should get back to stupid my favourite subject: chem (i seriously need to psycho myself into thinking i love all those subjects so i am willing to study them all man)

TOODLES...

class outing to east coast

had a wonderful time at east coast with 06S16 today =) this class really rocks.

heh, pity all of use couldn't be present, still, the day must go on right? i got my first personalised vday present from lynette. haha. Rach and i were tagged with this MEGA BIG HEART with a letter to us. SO SWEET!! ok. that means that i NEED to do v day presents for them too. not that i didn't want to, but i really appreciate them. =) my first time doing Vday gifts for people. HEY.SO TREASURE IT! thank goodness tmr's a holiday. i can do all the mushy letter writing tmr. harhar.

the trip to east coast itself was fun, East Coast was super empty and we did all sorts of rubbish, like cheering SA cheers, doing chicken dance while walking, random people just stared at us. still, we're proud to be SAINTS! we took class pics on the way too, just randomly posing on the breakwaters rock thingy. whatever it's called.

we rented our bikes and yay. we got discount. it was supposed to be $5 for an hour, but we got the same price for $2. yay for a non-famous holiday. hahahahaha. we cycled all the way to the jetty and we waited for the rest of the class, which well, never appeared because the bladers...err..i dunno wad happened to them actually. still..we wasted so much valuable cycling time waiting for nobody to be exact. still, waiting at the getty allowed us to play some games, chit chat, watch mel's ballet dancing routine, see some water sports and try to identify them, watch people catch small fishes (which we don't see a point in doing cos u can;t eat much meat) and of course, get a sun tan.

by the time we got back to the kiosk i realised i was red. haha. quite exciting. but that's bad news, cos i realised that it sort of hurt - meaning that i sort of got burnt. haha. my first time leh. exciting right???? still. it's not that bad. we went bowling. heh. i'm not bad after all. i'm improving. YAY! my score was pretty consistent. good for me =) the bowling place was so ULU. barely anyone was there, and i think they were trying to cut costs. air con wasn;t turned on, even if it was it was barely felt. lights were half on etc. ahah. still, we dominated the place =)

some people left after that, and the remaining went for dinner and pool. yay. haha. the one at the marine cove is CHAO JI ex. hello. like 10 plus for 1 hr. MAD AH. and the place stank of cigarette smoke. the irony was there was this signed that said no smoking =S nvm. we went to PP instead. had a fun time just chit chatting over dinner before we proceeded to the pool place. which was much cheaper than the one at marine cove. i just realised i'm pretty good at pool. hahaha. all thanks to eugene my shifu who taught me some time back. oh man. i want to play again!!! playing pool makes u feel all grown up cos it's only for people above the age of 16. hahahaha. yay. i'm a big girl now =)

now i'm back home and i have all sorts of tans on me. watch tan, face tan, singlet tan(i was wearing sleeveless mah), shorts tan and a pair of sandals tan. geee....and my body feels hot cos i'm red. yay. that makes me hot =)

haha. joking. i loved the day =) had so mucccch fun =) anyone interested in another one???
i hope my class doesn't split. that would be so sad =(

O level results

ok. so the long-awaited day has arrived. the day was all normal, well, with extra extra lots of well-wishers from the people around me. seniors, classmates, teachers etc etc. they were all so sweet, esp all the sfc seniors. haha. all those prayers, smses, hugs, smiles, words of encouragement etc. oh. not to forget mr lim's sms prayer to us. haha. he's so sweet =)

it was such a horror just being one of the last few in your class to receive your results. i mean, there u are, waiting to know, and then u see everyone around u screaming and crying tears of joy/sorrow etc. and u feel so shit. seeing people cry makes u wanna cry too. but i held back. MUST be strong. i'm so happy for all my friends. they all got such GREAT results. hahaha. brudders did well. all of us qualified for JC =) YAY! of course, most of them had below 10. i didn't. but i'm ok with it =)

it wasn't what i had expected. it was better than i expected, still, i was disappointed with my maths, though my other subjects did improve or at least, were the grades i expected them to be. i'm glad God was really good to me. i didn't do so well such that i'm so happy with myself and the focus will just be me me me, neither did i do so badly that i want to jump off the building or just sink into depression. no no. i did...neutrally. haha. i think i was just thankful for my results. i suppose i was the most expressionless person in my class. no noise, nothing...then again. my friends aren't in my class. mostly in other classes bunched away in one corner going hysterical over their results =) so i didn't share my neutralness/joy/whatever ness with anyone in class. i headed straight to my brudders whom i love so dearly. haha. hey and i called my elder bro. haha. he's such an ass. he's complaining about how i can whatever grade for whatever subject. fine la. and he;s saying how UGLY my slip is just cos it's not uniformly A1s like his. i can't be bothered. i know i did my best and i'm happy and satisfied =)

now he owes me a treat. har har.

let's see who i told my results:
- my brudders
- my brother (who in turn informed my mum)
- my SFC seniors
- cheryl
- my teacher. hhahaha...pineapple tart!!!!

reflects who i treasure most??? nah. my brother was just super excited and i just had to inform him about what i get before he dies of hyperventilation due to over excitement.

went out with my brudders and with my cg after that. haha. i din get to eat cafe cartel with the brudders, but i ended up eating it with my cg. talk about God's blessings. MUACKS. had a nice time talking and sharing with them. though the idea of a 18th birthday bash from them ain;'t very nice =( not that i dun loev them....but the idea's just not for me...like hello. a lap dance?!?!?!? no thank you. still...had a fun time talking =)

i'm tired out. zonking off.

zonk zonk...

zonk.

1 more day to results

tmr's D day. it's a great comfort that for the past few days that God has been telling me not to worry and that He'll lead the way and all. it's nice knowing that you don;t have to worry but just sit back and let God do all the work. heh.

being in SA is just great and comforting cos during morning worship the seniors pray for us and our results, then in SFC the seniors also pray again, and during morning worship the school prays for us. and the christians in the school encourage one another and the mentors hang up bible versus to encourage us and wish us gd luck for our results. love it. there's a weird sense of peace about the results. yet. i'm itching to know what i got =S

priscilla has been a wonderful senior. she encouraged both rach and i yest during a msn conversation. she helped me clear up my thoughts about which direction i should take after i get my results. thanks =) it really helped alot. shall keep my decision here secret =) personal reasons. heh. rach and lyn and trace..you know what i mean ;) hahaha.

i;m too tired out to do anything for my seniors and for my close friends. later on perhaps. designing the badges for nizhen and keewei has drained me and my pen as well. i like my blutack snowman. i'm inspired to do a blutack country. with surfer dudes, etc cool eh? so exciting. har har har.

can't wait to meet my brudders tmr....CAFE CARTEL! and errr...steamboat with my cg. haha. yay. hols for mon to wed. sleepppp...no la. need to use that time to catch up on my work. heh. haven't been paying attention during lectures. toodles. wish me all the best tmr!

sfc - my new family

today's morning worship was cool. apparently the guitar string snapped. so we sang without music. it was just voices. yet. even more beautiful. worship ended early today, but to compensate that, the worship leader shared some stuff on his heart. and it was all so inspiring. He's a year 3 student. meaning. he has graduated already. still, he bothered to wake up at an unearthly hour when he could sleep in, just to come and lead morning worship at SAJC. He shared about how the other seniors had been praying so hard for a revival at SAJC and he felt that it is time for the revival to take place. it was all so cool. i mean, it brings a whole new meaning to being in SAJC. there would truly be a purpose to be there. and i wouldn;t find it meaningless studying so hard in jc, struggling like a turtle drowning in peanut butter. when he said that, i just felt so fired up, eager to stay in SA no matter how hard it will be. i have kept in mind what Jayce said about life in J1 and how God will become even more real to you as He was to her.

honestly, i don;t know. somehow, my decision is getting swayed more and more to staying in SA. its been so encouraging, having my classmates beside me, laughing at each other's stupidity and lameness- usually mine. yet, we share bad times as well. Rach and Lyn has been helping me through my chemistry. being ever so patient with me. i'm so touched by them **sniff sniff** i really thank God for bringing me to this class, where the existance of cliques don't exist and weirdly enough, we are united as a class and i love it. we have the one die all die principle. when we pon lecture/tutorial, we pon as a class. hahaha. we rock. but then again. it only happened once and the teacher was so ok about it. in fact, she wasn't a wee bit angry at all. it was amusing =)

somehow, i know i will really really miss this class and its people. and of course mr lim. that pineapple tart. he's so cutely blur. haha. Mr lim's been really encouraging too, inspiring us with his stories etc =) thank you mr lim!

SFC has been great too. the seniors are lovely. i never felt the warmth of a cca as this. it's more than arc. truly like family, where even though we barely know one another, the seniors still cared for us =) as much as i hated the dancing, i love the cca in which we gather as one. i find a sense of belonging there and i love it so. it touched my heart so much when they offered to lay hands and pray for us. for our o level results, our ability to accept and understand why even if we don't get what we want, to just continue to grow and depend on God even if we are no longer in SAJC. it's so touching to see them all missing us already, encouraging us to come back often even as we await our postings or even after we leave SAJC. Pris and Anna has been great seniors =) love them loads. both highly different in personalities, still, wonderfully beautiful. rach cried when she hugged pris. haha. i really love them. SFC rocks.

recently, i read in the papers about some lost world being found in the hills of indonesia or smth. i don't believe it's the garden of eden, cos then they might have met the two angels guarding the river of life or smth like that. still, it's highly cool that there are still so many things that we do not know of in this world, that things are ever changing. is it due to evolution? or is it really true that they have just not been discovered? i dont know. i'll just wait for God to give me a tour of Eden. till then, i can't tell u the answer either.

2 more days. i can't wait.

forgetfulness- a double edged sword?

my cg(06S16) mates have complained that my blog is depressing and they said they can't believe it that i'm like that cause i'm usually cheerfully mad in school. then again, there was only one depressing entry as far as i recall =S

just to inform all u darlings out there. my blog is my place to rant or just to spend my time away. so don't worry if i ever have a depressing entry or an angsty entry =)

i supposed it's pretty good to be forgetful. i have just realised in pure horror. the reason why my emotions don't last long is because i forget it easily. perhaps it is why i feel my brain completely degenerating and disappearing into the oblivion. still, it's no wonder why because i barely use it and when i do....it really hurts (haha. yea rite) nah. it doesn't . i just am too lazy to continue thinking about it. it's such a pain in the ass to think. esp since i've never found the answer. then again..maybe i didn't wait long enough to find the answer =S

still. forgetfulness is bad. esp since i'm still a student who is require to "dead read" direct translation from chinese (si3 du2). i realised with horror that i forgot how to apply my a maths to the maths i know now. dear me. this is badddddd... =(

you know, i was thinking (wow...) this morning when i re-read the msg that amy sent. "send my regards to the rest in SA' in a way..i understood that perfectly. yet. i don't. what on earth is a regard? i need a dictionary =S

peer pressure has gotten into me recently. oh deer dear. seeing everyone around me carrying ipods and zens....it's made me really want to have one of my own. to be able to have christian songs with me without needing to bring a stack of CDs or this bulky cd player which i am pretty embarassed about now with all them small thingys. a cd player is pretty much outdated. practically ancient if u ask me. sadly, i checked out the prices and WHOA. even the cheapest ain't cheap. i don't require those that can store photos and videos, just music. and i'm still unable to afford one. all these worldly desires are coming into my head. all that wanting acceptance and all..bad bad. watching "bedazzled" sort of woke me up. even if it was a stupid retarded show. God speaks in all sorts of different ways remember?!?!?!?

poly? or jc?

bah. i'm xianed from all that lit notes research. i don't really care about the history of rome. and i hate reading those superbly wordy websites and still get no info that i require out of it =(

you know. now that it's not exactly confirmed whether i want to stay in jc or go to a poly, it's oh-so-temtping to run away to a poly cos that would mean i dont have to really study now or pay attention in classes since i won't exactly need it if i were to go to poly in the end. plus. the idea of PE and chinese lessons and boring lectures ain't a tad bit interesting to me. not to mention the horrible things that i am struggling to understand.

doing such homework isnt enjoyable to me, and i'm imagining myself having much more fun doing my poly projects. still. i'm afraid it'll turn into one of those "why did i join aep" kind of feeling.

there are 3 grps of people. 1 grp telling me to go to a jc cos i can still go to poly after i finish 2 years of JC. and it's easier to go to a university. grp 2 is telling me to go to a poly since i enjoy doing what i plan to do there. plus, it's easier to get a job with a diploma rather than an a level cert...which pretty much is nothing. as for grp 3. they aren't giving much advice, other than "it's all up to you. what do u want to do in the future?" GEE....i wish i don't have to work and worry about all that crap. =(

if i go poly, i would still be able to attend SFC. the seniors said i can come back. yay. problem is. will my poly timetable allow that? and without SFC's and SA christian environment to spur me on with my walk with God.....will i die out? as it is, i'm already dying and struggling to survive. wouldn't it be worse without support then? results will prob be out on friday or next monday. i can't wait. it better be out soon. i'm DYING.....

AHHH..the O level results are coming out. i'm confused, with all the different dates people are giving me. i don;'t know who to trust. there are like a million people saying its on the 6th, and half a million saying it's on the 10th, while some teachers...ok..one teacher said it was on the 10th. and it's ms k. the jo teo shanthi cross. AHHHH. she seems reliable. and it seems that everyone is sort of being converted to the idea that the results are released on the 10th!

stupid rumours.

i have a strong feeling i;m gonna get 14 points. now that's bad cos i can qualify for SAJC but it's not good enough to convince me to stay in JC. then again...nvm. i can always work doubly hard with God's help if He really wants me there =S

till then..i'm struggling like crap...i;'m usually half asleep in lectures. but that's cos my system automaticalyl shuts down when i can't understand and senses that i'm overly stressed. this saves me from going mentally insane. still. i'm not useless during this period. for during this time, i am highly entertaining to watch. esp to ni zhen. who kept laughin at me during chem lecture cos i was sort of a shut down. it's due to the lack of sufficient sleep. then again. it's worth sacrificing sleep for america's next top model. HAHAHA. love that show =)

chinese lessons have never been so fun either. i mean, we do things like chinese poems and humour adverts etc. quite fun, though sadly my chinese tutor is this old fashion woman who takes like a million years to understand our humour. which is highly lame and of course...punny. as a result, the pun ain;t funny anymore by the time we try to explain things to her. =(

life in jc is pretty tiring if you ask me. horribly tedious. by the time u get home u are dead beat. and u still have tutorials to complete and revision to do cause u din catch any ball during lectures. and the encyclopedia like textbooks are a turn off. unless u really read it then it actually is interesting. well...if you minus off the horrible lecturers, early morning starting hours, homework, tests, exams....jcs real fun =)

and my cca rocks too. hahaha. it's just like ARC...just...less stressful and non-competitive =) and guess what? you still get the family-bonding, God worshipping, environment that works in different departments just like ARC! still....i miss my bruddas. can't wait to meet up with them for lunch/dinner at cafe cartel on the day of our results. YAY!