church camp

just came back from church camp. it was like the slackest church camp i've ever attended, but it's also one of better camps.

was quite shocked to find out that i was a discussion leader for the sec ones. especially since the leaders of the cell groups werent leaders and i who has never led a cell grp discussion before was given the task and i was even informed about it. so imagine the shock i received when i found out. they even got my surname wrong. i was known as gloria CHING =S

it's quite scary leading a bunch of youngsters esp when u dun know them. the day before during qt i had a feeling i was supposed to be a sheperd for God's sheep. i was really hesitant about it. cos i'm not exactly that kind of a leader. but i figured that it would give me a chance to learn to really lean on God for guidance and strength cos i was fully aware of the fact that i can't do it by myself. so i said ok. i never expected it to be so soon. like the next day. and at first i was quite fascinated to find that my group leader happened to have the same name as me. until i realised my name wasn't in the group and i didn't know any other glorias. then. i realised that the gloria ching person was me. yes. me. i was super scared, and on one hand, slightly annoyed at how they had just plonked me with that task without asking me or even warning me about. yet. perhaps if they did, i wouldn't have this experience of leading them...even if i didn't exactly do anything during discussion times.

i didn't know what to do, or how to lead the group....this bunch of sec ones. =S the discussion questions given to us was more or less catered for the adults and even us discussion leaders found it difficult. let alone the smallies. i didn't know how i could make discussion interesting or fruitful for them. i didn't want them to leave this camp unchanged and all. and i was a super worrywart about it. sadly, all that i had intended to do for them went down the drain after the first discussion whereby my co-leader which was a more senior leader than i was, simply brushed aside the discussion questions to play games and watch videos on his laptop. =( i didn't dare to tell him anything considering how the kids liked him and that he was a more experienced leader than i was. so i just left everything to him. honestly, i felt so discouraged knowing that the smallies were gonna leave this camp gaining nothing. me too. Still, God was good and He gave me time with my own age discussion grp, so i did get to pick up good stuff from pastor dave in his discussion group. plus, it was really encouraging to see how the boys in the group really contributed and how matthew, the youngest in the group happened to be the one who paid the most attention and gained alot. good job dude!

anyway. was quite shocked to find out that we were going to play angel and mortal game. and i didn;t have anything with me for my mortal or angel. rah. nvm. cos my angel didnt do anything for me and i could barey find my mortal. i found out after the camp that amos was my angel. -___-''' he's like super cute la. how he danced and all. haha. i sound like some paedophile. but i assure u..i'm NOT.

this camp has been pretty cool. how people in church have the passion for God re-ignited and revived. we believe it's the start of the revival for my church and it's cool man. people getting visions and all. there were loads of testimonies at the end of the camp -- something that never happened before. exciting-ness =D worship during this camp was cool too. never felt that good before =)

oh. and since we were at camp during the global day of prayer, our church had it on our own. and after that the youths had our own prayer. it was pretty cool. cos the leaders got prayed for and u can feel God working and all... funkiness. hahaha.

figured during the camp that i have a serious problem of a divided heart. my focus is barely on God, unless i'm like doing my QT, having morning worships, church, sfc etc. i still don't understand how u can include God in like 24/7 of your life. the dying for christ just to follow Him started to make sense after this divided heart thingy. usually we're so focused on ourselves that we ignore God, turning a deaf ear to Him and all. and to really be able to have an undivided heart for Him and to really just focus on Him we need to get rid of this "self" thingy in our life. to really allow Christ to take over, to recognise that our lives are no longer ours, but His. i learnt how important QT is as well. haven't done my qt in days. well...i suppose i've been very complacent esp since i've been at a church camp, but nothing beats having a personal time with God where He can truly minister to you. you can't feed on the spiritual highness of the people around u. i'm not a sponge. ok. even if i am, the stuff within me gets squeezed out or evaporated =S so i dun retain anything

coming for this camp has also allowed me to know a few of the youths better. partly cause the girls my age are all unable to come. leaving only natalie, sarah and myself. haha. the 3 rugby rivals, RJ, AC and SA respectively. it's fun how we usually diss one another's schools...for fun. so during the camp i ended up mingling more with the sec 2/3, even with some of the boys my age. haha. i realised how RJ students can be SOOOO SLOOOOWWWW. hhahaa. daniel and nat are good examples =) but it's ok. i still love u guys all the same =)

bah. i better study. i don't have much time left. oh boyyyy...but i must continue blogging...reflecting is good. =) makes ur brain work, helps u learn and realise things =) blogging is....COOL STUFF ;p