SFC camp 2007

Just came back from one of the most awesomest camp i've ever attended. It wasn't just all pure fun and games, but filled with lessons to learn, awesome experience that has just been so memorable and heartwarming :) pity the camp was simply too short :( but then again. i think everyone would have melted away into nothingness...especially the camp comm and jc2s.

Firstly, a few acknowledgements:

BIG DADDY GOD:
really....all glory goes to Him for making the camp so successful. i mean..who else can hold back the skies from raining down and making the weather so suitable for all our activities. like when it was sooo HOT wet games just felt even better :) Really thank God for being there throughout the entire camp, making all the lessons for each activity meaningful and impactful on all the campers, with each camper bringing home their own individual lessons learnt :)

Camp Commers
hey yall. you guys really did an awesome job planning for this camp. we sure had loads of fun dry running the camp and doing the actual thing yeah? Honestly, the activities that you guys planned really rocked! They weren't just for the purpose of bonding and fellowship, but rather, they also served as a means of teaching lessons. indeed, you guys have made this SFC camp different from other camps :) Because of that, i believe everyone really enjoyed the camp and felt it to be a worthwhile experience :D GREAT JOB! you guys can now relax!!! haha.

GAP (God's Annointed People)
YEAH! you guys really filled the GAP of the camp by makng all the activities superbly fun and worthwhile with all your enthusiasm. indeed, you God's Annointed People really were a source of encouragement to me. As boring a leader i am, you guys never failed to raise the energy level of the entire group with your high enthuness that i seriously have no idea where it comes from. especially when we lost so miserably in practically every game in the camp! haha. GAP. YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY AMAZING!!!!! Thanks for your awesome encouragement. honestly, in all my experiences as a leader, leading this group has been the most fulfilling thing i've every done :) ahh..you guys make my heart melltttttt :D I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

ok. more talk about camp :)

It started out as pretty awkward. especially since this is my first time leading a group. As in not just for games, but also discussion. it's simply not in me to come up with fun games to waste the time away nor am I able to really rah rah up my grp. felt quite ashamed of myself especially since jonathan was super on about every single thing and the stuff that he prepared for his grp was like WHOA....arm band la, stars etc. amazing man. my group on the other hand...was ermm...haha. quite dead la. i was really and honestly very very very scared that because of me, they wouldn't enjoy or get the most out of the camp. nonetheless. a BIG THANK YOU to priscilla tan who was always mad enough to make me feel less discouraged about the deadness (which ceased to exist soon enough. thank God!)

ice breakers was really fun. hahaha. double whacko is really amusing especially with lining who says nothing but screams. even when she's not the one being whacked : haha. i dunno whether to laugh or cry. macaroni game was fun too. i did a little cheating in the hope that it would help my group win. haha. rubbish la. we lost in the end. hahaha. talk about bad karma. anyway. for the sake of my group, i was sold as a slave la...what 4/5 times? see...the sacrifices that i make for my grp!! haha. kidding. its just a really good reflection of how much i suck at scissors paper stone. the small batch of jc1s makes the camp a hell lot of fun especially cos we dun have to worry about not knowing anyone of them. at least we recognise every single one of them and we know them :) so technically speaking, there seriously wasn't really a need for ice breakers for us to know each other. heh. :}

ok. i shall go according to activities then. quite annoying to jump from game to session. the mood abit....up and down for me.

ok. sessions:

i thought the sessions that we had were rather good. even if ps Tim Chow is abit too animated for me to tolerate. it's funny how his jokes falls flat on its face and we end up laughing at him and not with him. haha.
Sessions were on listening to God's voice, revival, fruits of the spirit (ministry to God) and boy/girl matters. honestly thought that the sessions were all really good. the times of reminder that our God is a superbly quiet gentlemen who refuses to shout to get your attention (even though He can do so). Instead, He chooses to speak to us in a superbly quiet gentle way that forces us to really shut everything in the world out in order to hear Him. a very good reminder considering how much noise i have in my brain or vacuum up there. been finding it really hard to focus and have the patience to just sit there and listen. it's really discouraging at times, so it was a really good reminder that as much as i wished that God could communicate more clearly with us be it via sms or msn or even through an audible voice, i need to remember that Christianity is based on faith in the first place. believing and trusting in something that you cannot see/hear/feel etc. it's trusting in the total unknown. if God spoke so clearly to us we wouldn't be doing things by our own choice cos we would know that He is God and i mean...who would dare defy Him???? we wouldn't need faith anymore. so in a way...as much as it annoys me. i think the entire concept is really quite beautiful. :)

second session was on prayer for revival. Repentance and acknowledging how much we truly needed God in our lives. It was truly a great session where i was once again reaffirmed that my love for God hasnt disappeared. while i thought i had lost it, it was truly within me. it's just that i never felt that it was sufficient enough. I realized that I’ve been very insecure in that area, often worrying that I’m not loving God, that my heart isn’t for Him etc. if I really thought about it, I realized I’m not insecure about God’s love, but rather, I lack faith in my own faith. Sounds complicated yeah? Haha. Somehow at the back of my head it’s been like pre-programmed within me to know that God is with me, that He’s always there. Whenever I dun feel Him or hear Him, I take it that I’ve moved away. I dunno. I supposed even up till now I still dun see my love for God. As much as people have reassured me of it..i dunno. I still dun see it that way :S anyway, as i went through the checklist for repentance i was really quite shocked to see that i can identify with every single and thing. not just identify, but agreeing that it exists in my life. i'm such a bad egg. I realized how there was this very one thing in my life that I’ve been holding on to so tightly. So much so that I feel it’s been a hindrance to my own spiritual growth, a foothold for the devil to built up on. I seriously need to let go of it and give it all up to God. Recognizing that as much as I am unwilling to do so, I need to do so if I really wanted God to work in my life. To really surrender it all. Whether I like it or not. Ah wellz…it was quite a struggle and a painful session, but nonetheless i'm VERY VERY THANKFUL that mr lim cs took my group for that session. i would have felt really really awkward to have to share in front of any other teacher. it was a good time of confession and accountability where we shared within smaller groups to pray for one another. so nice and fuzzy and lovey dovey. that's what i love about SFC. we are FAMILY :) it was really an awesome session where i felt really renewed :) yeah...PRAISE GOD!

didn't really learn much from the remaining sessions. namely the one on ministries, serving where God has given us the talents to do so and the one about how to dress appropriately -__-''' until now i still have no idea what my real spiritual gifts are. i can't seem to identify my strengths and weaknesses. what talents i have etc. haha. i'm such a dodo head. apart from learning that our experiences actually do shape us and
prepare us for the ministry God has intended us to go into, i'm still very much confused as to which i'm called to cos no matter how i weigh and think through, i simple don't see how i can just stick to it seeing how unsociable i am and how uncreative i am. so hmmmm..yeah. nvm. i'll continue waiting for God's direction. but i think there's one thing that made me think and that would be how come i never thought of trying out all the different ministries to see which i'm best suited for. hmmm..i think there's just alot of fear and insecurity. i mean...it's quite weird to jump from ministry to ministry isn't it? man would always like to stay within their comfort zone. i can't imagine myself going into worship or hospitality or evangelism ministry for i am such a oh-not-musically-inclined-can't-sing-for-nuts-too-shy-to-lead person. HAHA. lousy gloreee. oh. the woes of insecurity.....woe woe woe.

lastly...the session on girl's matters: how to dress appropriately.....bah. i rather had the same thing as the guys did. how to woo guys. haha. at least it'll be more fun than talking about how we shouldn't dress too skimpily. i mean..for most of the girls present it was so irrelevant cos i mean we're mostly t-shirt and jeans people, tomboys that dun dress up. ahaha. neither are we cheepies that dress as though we are so poor
that we can;t afford more cloth for our clothes. ah wells. that was really quite disappointed cos i honestly didn't gain much. even if the speaker was really fun.

Workshops were well done. I really applaud the camp comm. for planning these activities. Unlike last year (which games although fun, I didn’t really learn much. Heh. Sorry seniors!), I really enjoyed it cos I learnt a lot. It may not be super fun fun kinda games, but there was some element that made it even better than just being pure fun J one of the workshop that I learnt the most and remember the most would be the very first workshop of listening effectively. It was a reflection of the first session of listening to God where we need to learn to shut out all the irrelevant noises and not just listen up, but also recognize our leader’s voice. I played the role of the leader where I shouted till my lungs popped out, vocal chords dropped and dragged on the floor. Haha. Seriously. Shouting against an ENTIRE group of mad girls is really very tiring. I had sexy voice after that. Still. I wanna thank Pris Tan for being so sensitive and helping me shout so I could rest my throat. As the shouter, it gave me a very different perspective from the rest. i realized how the noises from everywhere except the leader made it really hard for your follower to hear your instructions so it’s the same with our spiritual walk. God must have been superbly frustrated at the many times where we fail to hear Him or respond to His calls to us or when we hear and just REFUSE to obey Him. It’s always for our own good, to direct us so we won’t bang into things and hurt ourselves. Which is the consequence of not hearing God out yeah. Anyway. That was really really memorable. Even the next faith/endurance trail can’t even beat it on the memorable scale.

I really didn’t learn much from this event. Not really much of faith for me. Haha. More of a physical torture. I think I spent more muscle trying to prevent the bottles from slipping off my hands then lifting the bottles la. Man….i sweat like some tap. Sweat kept stinging my eyes, making the bottle impossible to hold cos it just..slllliiiidddeeeesss down my grip.

Final workshop was the monopoly game. I’m really proud of GAP. How they took the lead and chose the moral path even though there were all sorts of temptations. But I believe also that they knew the entire system behind the game la. How to resist temptations. But one thing that really amazed me was how they really gave money to the church every time we landed on it and how they sportingly paid the rent at every property that belonged to the other grp even when we were the poorest grp. I will never forget how the entire grp opted to give all our remaining 70 to the church and go to jail. Haha. My amazing GAP J gloreee’s proud of all u darlings! Hope u guys play the game of life the same way J

I haven’t come to the best part of the camp yet. PERSECUTION. Honestly, I thought that I wouldn’t learn much. Considering that I’ll be just catching the j1s and interrogating them, playing the bad guy. I mean…how much can u learn???? God did something amazing during the activity though. Was honestly very nervous and scared at having to wake the sleeping juniors up and yell at them. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it and screw up the mood and make it more ridiculous and fun then serious and something to learn from. I only interrogated 2 people when I was called to attend to the torture chamber which wasn’t even intended. I didn’t know what to do. I’m not the type to make u pump and look evil. In fact, I got quite a shock when Shirley told me to play mental instead of physical and mock them of their faith. I was afraid of being too harsh on them cos we were told to be very careful and sensitive cos we’re not just playing a game cos this involves the spiritual realm too. So yeah. I was really quite scared. Hmm..but I supposed once you got the momentum it was ok. Playing persecutor really made me think a lot. I mean..i’m mocking the very same God that I believe in. it didn’t really occur to me as much until the teachers came up to me to check if I was ok and they told me how they’d never be able to muster up all that within them to do what I did. It struck me and really got me thinking about how come I could do so without feeling much? I knew and recognized that it was all just a game/activity and it was all part of it. So perhaps that was why it was simply so easy for me to utter all that. Yet, does it also reflect how unserious I am about my relationship with God? I mean…if God really meant so much…could I really bear to say all that???? I dunno. Things seemed ok until I the game ended. Shirlyn really woke me up with her strong reaction. How she really broke down and just snapped. I really got quite a shock when that happened. But man…she’s really an example to follow. Her reaction really set me thinking too. Being the persecutor revealed a side of me that people never saw. I didn’t realize how so many people could be affected by what I said and did that they felt fear, with some even breaking down. It really tore me apart to know that what I did had more damage to a lot more people than expected. I felt really bad, but it really made me think about how much I loved God. Shirlyn’s response made me think about how far I would go to stand for God in the times where true tribulation and persecution happened. I know my low level of perseverance and as much as dun wish to deny Christ, I’m afraid that at that point of time I’d do anything to escape the pain. Really, when I think about it I get scared. I honestly have no idea how I’ll react….

Still…even as I continue to ponder and prepare myself for that day to come..let’s talk about the rest of the camp. The fun part. All the nice games and stuff. Wet games was fun. But the most fun was still CAT FIGHT! haha. Release the wild side in you!!!! MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna play that game again. It’s really a fun game to watch too. Equally fun as to when u’re on the playing field urself. :D other games we played were food dog and bone, 3 way captains ball, minesweeper and some body part games.

Yeps. I’m sick of updating. Haha. Too bad for all u people who missed the camp. CAMP ROCKED!

God's grace

man. my God is so awesome He bring the word "grace" to a whole new level of meaning in my life.

and because He lives, i can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
and because i know, i know He holds MY future
and life is worth the living,
JUST BECAUSE HE LIVES

it doesn't matter what you think of me, how well i do, what talents i have because i know, ultimately, He still loves me for who i am :)

thank you God :)

visual dna

the teachers honestly believe that the only subject and only thing we have in life is that particular subject that they teach. blarh. it doesn't help either that as short as i am, i drown in work much easier than others. BOOHHOO...

thank goodness A levels is the hardest time in studies. i can't imagine uni life if it were so much worse than this :(

MY VISUAL DNA...IT'S COOL AND I LIKE IT :)

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

pw results and orientation 2

the release of PW results was totally different from what i expected. it made all of us shocked, disappointed and lost for words.

perhaps it was because ms de silva told us our work was an A grade. and to top it off, the examiners for our OP said we were good. while people managed to get their reports, we didn't. yet, from their reports, many had done well, with the grade of EE written on their paper. YET. they all got Cs and Ds. i didn't know what to make out of the entire thing when i finally got to know my results. i thought it was all a joke that ms de silva was playing. that perhaps she'll say GOTCHA and tell us our real marks. but none of that ever happened. Friday the 13th just went on as gloomy as the weather.

today has just been a bringer of bad news. PW results, the impending doom of the advanced students who failed to meet the minimum 35 rank points. i don't know what to make out of all these, except to recall what ailing taught us at the SFC-SYFC training - we are all stuck in this vicious cycle, trapped by the world's demands for us, our education and certs are seen as essential to our survival. without them, we are nothing. As i trembled in fear and shock at the mere prospect of losing all my certs and becoming a nothing in society, i realised with great horror that i too, belong to the group who is trapped by all these things.

there;s a rumour going around about why the pw results are just as bad as the previous year's. i don't know what to make out of it, though if it's really true, it's really foolish of that person. i won't state who, but people in SA should know very clearly what i'm talking about. it's not just about us. it's also about the school's reputation. ah wellz.

i feel bad for my group, for ms de silva, for myself. all that hard work has seemingly gone down the drain, flushed down the toilet bowl, never to be changed to newater. in order words...it's all gone. seeing people cry, fellow leaders cry, fellow members cry...i couldn't help but feel a sense of anger within me. yet at the same time, there was nothing i can do but to just accept it. it's a very scary idea to imagine that the actual release of my A level results would be the same scenario. to have been so confident and yet, have everything we had hoped for dissappear just like that. i feel bad for my group members, for i've witnessed the amount of hard work we've put in, the sweat and blood and pride that we took in our project work...how we bonded through the tough times and encouraged one another on. To not know where we've went wrong...with no explaination whatsoever...i just feel that they didn't deserve to be treated like that.

stil..no point harping on that. I should instead give thanks to God. for things could have been worse. i don;t understand what all these is about or how it'll benefit me, but i just need to learn to trust in God and believe that all these are just part of the plan to grow me, mould me and for the carrying out of His will. thus, i have decided that i will smile and just accept those grades that i got.

really want to thank God for being so faithful to me. i was really worried when the rain poured like crazy and showed no signs of stopping. it didn't help either that mel and yinxi said that such rains lasted the entire day and would probably stop at like 7/8pm. This of course, would not be a favourable one since we're having orientation and our plans were mostly centralised on outdoor games. Somehow when we were planning, we just trusted that God will provide good weather just as He always has. while the ongoing rain thundered down and flooded our campus and the rugby field next to us, i was really worried that we would have to use our wet weather plan, which trust me, wouldn't even interest me to play. the rugby field next door was so flooded there were ruggers actually diving into the waters to SWIM.

as miraculous as it sounds, the rain suddenly lightened to a drizzle and when it was time to conduct the games, not a drop of rain fell from the heavens. beautiful isn't it? that my God who is so big, would grant me my request. if it weren;t for Him, alot of things wouldn't have gone so smoothly. all glory and honour and praise belongs to Him and Him alone. thank you Father :)

i wanted to complain about the long weekend holiday assignmentssssss...but blogger refused to allow me to blog. oh wellz

anyway. i finally managed to get things sorted out. oh the woes of being a WUman. all that pms-ing messes up my life. :(

anyway. old age is ctaching up with me and i'm going terribly blind. my computer screen is half a meter away from me and everything that i type kinda looks.....doubledblur/my eyesight is failing...blarhz. i need to change my glassessssssss... :(

anyway...i better study for the upcoming bio test or else ms de silva is going to sit on me. WOE is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

on a happier note....a levels end on the 22nd of novemeber. HAHAHAHAHAHA. can u feel the excitement in the aiirrrr?????????????????????????????