xian

i'm quite sick of work. not that i have been working. haha. i'm such a lazy pig. perhaps there's so many things until i'm lost. i finally managed to complete workshit 5 and 6 plus the last year's prelim paper on sat with a bit of aep =) quite proud of myself ya. but come to think of it, it doesn't seem alot. i go to bed every night thinking i've not done enough and i feel like getting up to do my tys. oh my goodness. i keep dreaming about my aep stuff. i'm pretty much annoyed by it. ok. that's an understatement. i feel like going. OH SCREW AEP! but then again. it's not worth it. firstly, i can't screw aep. i mean...can you? very often we say SCREW MID-YEARS just the way my class does it. and now that the prelims is here. we'll go oh SCREW PRELIMS. but you see. after that, when the o levels is here, we can't screw it. let's all go commit suicide. so mr ng, don't say we didn't give you ample time to stop each and every 41 student in your class from jumping off the school building. which is a very dumb thing to do considering the fact that hmm..it's only like...3 stories high? not only do u not die, u end up breaking a bone or two and still HAVING to go through your Os plus many counselling sessions to make sure you don't try to die again. So people. if you plan to die, don't go to CHIJ SECONDARY TOA PAYOH to do it. you'll regret. but if you do succeed. good for you. there's plenty of friends over there =)

ok. i realised i just rambled a lot of rubbish. perhaps it is due to the many homework that seems to flow in consistently and i find myself unable to finish them and also be unable to study anything. perhaps it's due to the ugly text books of SS and Geog and the overload in bio and lit plus the un-understandable chem. praise God! at this point of time, i would really love to say oh SCREW THE Os. hell. pardon my language. i just got driven mad by vectors in a maths, ss source based questions and aep. i have no more patience. i still don't get vectors. i mean basics can la. but then you give me a long long question or something in which i cann't picture. i'm dead meat. which..i already am. and the tests???? i'm just very scared i won't do well. i mean it'll reflect how we're coping and all. and it's not very much looking the way i want it to. boo.

i realised that if you study for a test you get even more stressed. that's for me la. perhaps i'm just so worried that my hardwork didn't pay off etc. and then when i find that i can't answer a question i go all mad. my mind goes blank and i get even more stressed. GEE..thanks. and then i realise that i'm not breathing properly and then i go woozy. ok. i'm seriously going mad.

ahhhh...screw school. i wonder why we can't do so many things in life. i mean. we can. it's just wrong and against God's laws. like. why is it a sin to commit suicide? and what's so forbidden about being homosexual? just random questions that i started thinking about while in the toilet, doing homework, travelling, in church etc.....

i want to study. but the books are such a turn off. URGH!