i've been burying myself in school work and studies i'm becoming anti-social. seriously. but i suppose i really need to be disciplined and continue studying even when no one else is able to. it's really very tempting to just follow all of them home when the 5.30pm alarm in school rings.

still, it's been rather discouraging for me during the first half of the prelims. SIGH. i dunno. after all the training we've received from ms lye and the practices and what nots, i felt a ray of hope that maybe this time, i could do well in my GP. i dunno. but after the paper, i felt demoralised, disheartened, discouraged, depressed whatnots. i dunno. i was quite disappointed la. and then there was bio paper 3 and lit on the same day. after going through the notes multiple times and drilling myself for the essay questions, i was quite disappointed to find myself not able to recall some stuff and not understanding what the question is asking :( chem was a huge disappointment. i was glad that i managed to finish the entire syllabus early since i started early. but little did i expect myself to forget all that i've studied such that i can't even remember the formula for Ksp. what an idiot. i couldn't remember the organic stuff etc. i chose the wrong questions to do and i ended up having loads of blanks in my paper. all that practicing and starting early seemed to do more harm than good. sigh. and then there was maths. quite disappointed with that one also. i almost completed the entire pure maths tys portion and then....BLARH...shucks. now i need double the work to fix my grades. SIGH.

things are seriously not looking up for me :(
even my spiritual walk hasn;t been looking up.
it's dumb. so dumb i dun even know where to start.
or perhaps everything has just been a part of my imagination......

just maybe....