why is everyone dying now??????

ok. not everyone. but it's quite upsetting to see friends lose their parents. two within the month of January. it's super sad because they're either my age or slightly older and it's just shocking or unthinkable for one to lose a parent or someone dear so young. I have been in that sense, a very very fortunate girl to not lose anyone to mr grim reaper by far. I say "by far" not because i expect any of you to drop dead anytime soon, but rather, because i know death is inevitable.

but then again...death has always been inevitable and it's been happening since I was born...or rather...way before I was born. I pointed out to my roommate during lunch today that perhaps the reason why everyone appears to be dropping dead like flies is simply because we are now more aware of people who have made impact and we've also reached that age where these impactful people are now older. when michael jackson first died...along with the slew of other famous individuals unknown to me but known to a million other people who mourned their deaths, I simply just thought that it was recruiting season in heaven. then again..deaths occur daily just like births. perhaps it's just a transaction. perhaps heaven has a population quota it has to keep. As i sat there eating my lunch thinking about michael jackson's death, i sat there thinking and amusing myself with the thought that perhaps michael jackson was God's plan as an evangelistic tool. of course not that his pedophiliac acts were anything heaven-entrance worthy, but rather since he was such a star, perhaps more non-christians would accept Christ just to be in Heaven to worship and sing ALONGSIDE michael jackson and be of equal status in heaven. THAT of course, is based on the assumption that michael jackson, along with elvis and the beatles and whatever noteworthy people, are up there with the big man. then again. they probably can't be king of pop/rock/whatever they were pro for up there in heaven cos only God can be king...the term queen would be very gay and possibly wrong in Heaven considering how it's wrong to be transgendered anyway. maybe they'll just be jokers.

mahahahahahaha

i am so not funny -____-

i wish i were as cool as Barney Stinson in How I Met your Mother..though less...playboy-ish. then again... that might not be so bad after all. lol. or i wish i could be as cool and funny as flight as the conchords. they are hilarious. it's a good thing motion graphics require me to look at things more dynamic and entertaining than the flat graphic designs where less is involved and it gets so boring after awhile. WHAT ON EARTH MAKES A BLOODY GOOD DESIGN??? I'll never know. I just know what's nice and not.

As I grumped all over Savannah cracking (literally cracking) my head to think of ideas and concepts for the new bunch of projects, I realised with a horror that I have been only and merely a page decorator and NOT a graphic designer. I can't doodle and produce magically amazing things like most people can. it takes me FOREVER to come up with an idea and execute a mind-blowing piece. this is quite upsetting.

and then on my way home from the library after ponning class because I had nothing to show for a work day other than a creative block, I realised how thinking so hard for my classes really does split my head and gives me a horrible head throbbing headache. well..now I know I do have a brain and I can use it...just not very effectively. or maybe the pain is just a sign that I should not be using it. After all, Ive been told time and time again by my current professor to just follow my intuition. WHICH IS A PAIN IN THE BUTT BECAUSE I HATE SUCH VAGUENESS. I realised with a sense of horror that I have just signed up for one of the hardest professions ever. Unlike being an accountant, there's no right or wrong. you either make it or you don't. which kinda sucks. oh wait wrong. it sucks.

sometimes when I find myself in such a rut, I lie in bed and wonder if I've made the right decision or not in going to art school and throwing away tons of money. and then because that cannot happen, i toss it out of my head and flip myself into dreamland. it's a good thing my brain doesn't quite hold thoughts for a very long time.

3 studios really is quite a nutcase. 4 classes comprising of 2 lectures and 2 studios is still quite a breeze. that is...without motion graphics classes.

I actually love motion graphics alot and my brain goes crazy excited when I envision the whole animation. but it's a pain in the butt when you think about the amount of work and butt sitting/flattening process is involved in it. If the video below uploads successfully, it's a ridiculously short 56 seconds that had DAYS of work put in it...pls some irregular meals because I don't have the program for this and need to go to the school labs to work instead. At least i can use the computers at the library instead of having to head all the way down to monty which is a good half an hour scad bus ride over there.

it's really basic because we haven;t learnt much about the program and all we had to play with this time was keyframing, moving from place to place, rotating, scaling, opacity. I definitely learnt from this that you should always find sound sources FIRST then animate it WITH the sound. because of this stupid mistake of mine, i ended up having to re-animate the whole thing to match the sound. huge pain in the butt. i soon ran out of patience because rendering it in real time to see how it runs takes forever and one keyframe alteration results in the need to re-render that section for a preview.

i have this intense love-hate relationship with motion graphics. watching the whole thing come to live in the end is really quite satisfying though I wish I knew more about how to use this program to do more :( nonetheless, it's highly satisfying to know that my learning process and exposure to my major involves watching movies and shows for their movie titles. YAY for fun studying :D BEAT THAT!!!!!!

as soon as I was done with this, my roommates and I pampered myself to a night of movies including "catch me with you can" which really has pretty good opening sequence :) EXCITEMENT. i need more patience to do work :(

graphic design has just been rather bleah but here's the first project for vector and raster. basically basic stuff of photoshop of just clumping images together and adding effects.

nothing special or fancy. this class ain't gonna produce any stella portfolio work cos it's more like a computer class than anything else. on the other hand, we do get to play with human touch up, which has been pretty awesome fun. HUR HUR HUR. who needs extreme makeover under the knife when you can paste a photoshopped image of a pretty you on your mirror instead????

some of you may have seen the image below..which is a choice of 4 different color scheme choices.

I did like 20 000 other color schemes which was crazy but my teacher, being mexican and all into red and saturated colors didn't quite like the others and considered them too clean and green poster-ish, much to the dismay of me and my friends. and well...since he's the one giving me the grade...follow suit! sadly, this will be pretty much the story of my life when I face clients with the "let's use comic sans, add some pictures of puppies, kitties, fairies and glitter sparkles all around" ideal mentality. oh fun. it's pretty much like throwing work, reputation and effort down the drain cos you won't quite show comic sans, puppies, kitties, fairies and glitter effects in your portfolio work.

anyhows, the other things I've been up to are

a) applying for a disney off-campus program

since my school is so AMUH-ZING, disney has decided to collaborate with my school and they approached them to have a 1 week program during spring break to send a group of talented students to Disney Imagineers, which is the creative team in Disney who plans out the attractions in the theme parks and hotels etc. we go in, shadow them and find out the in-and-outs of disney, which is pretty much the few hundred dollars tour that you go behind the scenes...something I want to do on my honeymoon. hur hur hur. or at least some time in my life. my husband needs to be a fellow disney geek. ME NO CAREEEEE. we are so watching suite life of zack and cody and wizards of waverly place TWO-GEH-DURRRRR.

soo..i've been trying to get my portfolio together, my application forms, recommendations letters from people and a statement of purpose for the program with my fingers tightly cross in hopes of going on this trip. the final project would be to work on a themed attraction for Disney in whichever major you are in. YIPPESSSSS

b) MDA and Design Singapore Scholarship applications for back home

this would greatly alleviate me from the stupid threats my mother throws at me about my school fundings and hopefully give me some dough to go on those awesome off campus trips to italy to see the actual things in real life. sadly, I would have to miss the summer trip because it is way too expensive even if the trip brings you from rome to florence to venice all in one week for art history with the study of the evolution of art due to leonardo da vinci's rule breaking style which by the way...is AWESOMELY MINDBLOWING (*said in the same high pitched Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother way. this show is AWWWEEESOOOMMMMEEEE by the way. my roommate has invested in practically every season of the dvd since we first started watching it. HELL YEAH!)

this requires getting together all my school records, getting my current transcripts and paying $20.00 just to obtain them -___- finding more professors to write recommendations, gathering a designer resume, portfolio, cover letter, essay about my passion for design, calculating the cost of school yada yada yada yada. RAGHHHHHH and then paying a bomb to send them back to Singapore in the hopes that I get an interview and then pass that and get the moolah. $40 000 a year would be AWESOMEmoooo

c) Leadership applications

in the attempt to boost my portfolio and resume, I have decided to throw myself into school involvement as I did the past few years of my life. the sad part this time is that I have actually discovered the meaningless of it all. You see my dear friends, you are told that you need to have all these extra curriculars for your resume for entry into a good high school/college/job. next thing you know, after you reach the next two levels you realise what you did two levels back is no longer valid and meaningless and insignificant. very very bitter about this. i feel as though I wasted my youth and energy and time and fun. then again...at least I have some sense of achievement to be proud of.

so anyhows, I'm getting together my leadership resume and cover letter for the student ambassador and chasing professors for recommendation letters. I really need to start sucking up to more professors and get close to them...especially to those who can speak and write english properly and stop taking these international professors from India, Korea and i dunno where but in the spanish speaking places. whatevs. dear mr Duff (a Singaporean professor who teaches motion graphics). you should really teach entry level classes because I wish you could write me a recommendation though you've never taught me because at least we are on a higher level of friendship than other professors and I.

BLLARRRHHH

too much grown up stuff to deal with.

and then my other roomie and I have to figure out how to deal with kicking the other two girls out because we are sick of their parties. thank goodness i'm on the side of the girl who first found the place so the landlord did say that we have priority and POWERRRRR. MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA. though..this will be kinda awkward for the next few months till the lease ends. OH LORDY LORDY.

AHHHH CRAZY LIFE. on top of all that jazz, i'm trying to get myself more exposed and involved in the art world. subscriptions to design magazines, guest artist lectures and involvement in student clubs. i need more hours in a day >.<

at least i've pampered myself with a wonderful purchase of the out of print limited edition House Industries book about the design of typefaces and their AMUHZING design products. got it at $40 cheaper than other sellers and AI AM WAITING FOR IT TO CUMMMMMM :D

oh COME INSPIRE ME!

speaking of inspiration, it was kinda cool to attend SCAD's SCADDY awards which is like the grammy's for advertising design with the involvement of graphic design, motion graphics, photography, advertising majors. tons of them are from graphic design so it shall be my next goal to win an award at that event to boost my resume. OH YEAAAAHHH ONWARRRRDDDDDDD

this whole success thing is sucking me innnnnnnnnnn and filling my lifeeeeeee. :S

"if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my frieeennnnddddddssss...."

that's the background NOISE that's going on in my house. YES. i say noise because my roommates are being highly ANNOYYYYIINNNGGGG. just because we have a 4 day weekend doesn't mean they should have friends over till past 3 am and make TONS OF NOISE.

sure, it sounds pretty much like a sleepover in the movies, EXCEPT THAT THIS IS BLOODY IRRITATING INSTEAD OF FUN!!!! BLARHZ

annnddd kneee ohhhh houseeee...

school is driving me crazy. it's no longer just the technical skills that matter but the brain and conceptual part. it's so difficult to come up with anything good these days. urgh. i need to increase my exposure to art and design and do more more more more more :(

so like the rest of my fellow friends, my blog has been slightly abandoned. the year 2009 came and went just like that and it's kinda crazy to think more than a year of college has gone by just like that. and i feel as though I just entered college not too long ago :S anyhows...while most people would blog about the memories that they got from their holidays, I shall blog about the lessons I've learnt during my family holiday to Orlando and Miami.

FIRST AND FOREMOST.

I need to do a sleep test before I marry my husband to be.

WHY? to check if he rolls in bed, snatches the blanket, kicks or snores.

WHY?

Due to the fact that most families here stop at 2 and thus comprise of 4 members per family, my family of 5 shared a room comprising of 2 queen size beds, meaning that the siblings had to share a bed or rotate sleeping on the ground.

The first night sharing the bed with jonathan comprised of me waking up multiple times during the night to SHOVE HIM BACK to his half of the bed considering how he often rolled all the way till he took up 3/4 of the bed, leaving me with no space to flip over on my back when I'm sleeping on my side. BAD BAD BOY.

Sleeping with winnie on the other hand comprised more of blanket stealing because he's so easily cold. and because he desperately attempts to keep warm, his sleeping position is often in a fetal position, except that his knee is often kneeing me in the back...a very awkward position which left me feeling rather gay...that is..if i were male.

however, the most annoying aspect of sharing a room with so many people is the horrendous snoring my parents can conjure up in their unconscious states. while some (ie. my parents) would call it a symphony orchestra, I call it jurassic park. WHY? because that's PRECISELY what it sounds like. there were multiple times were my siblings and I had to kick their bed or yell at them to wake up just to shut them up so we could return to our unconscious states of mind. Unfortunately, my parents are faster than us and before we can return to bliss, jurassic park is opened again and ROARING with life. There were even more times where I woke up highly annoyed and struggling to return to bed and I toyed with the various ideas in my head as to how to shut them up...like...DROPPING A GRAND PIANO ON THEM. cartoon style. I love my brain. I could so easily entertain myself.

Secondly, I learnt that people DO AGE. In body, in mind and in spirit.

In that little fantasy world of mine, i tend to have everyone and everything stuck in time. Like how my friends should remain at the stage where we first met and THEY SHOULD NOT BE GETTING MARRIED OR GETTING BOYFRIENDS NOWWWWW OR just for this year, HAVING 21st BIRTHDAY PARTIES ALREADY. it's like I don't feel myself growing older or advancing in life. hence, so should everyone else. it's strange to realise how much my little brother has grown. He has grown TALLER and more mature and nicer and no longer bully-able :S he has learnt to talk back and flip me off him when I tau pok him. now I am the runt of the family. not him. this kinda sucks. on the bright side...I know have a sai kang warrior in the house and I can be the damsel in distress and the excuse of "oh...i am a poor and weak and defenseless little girl!" :) THUS. I SHALL DO NOTHING. oh yay eye power <3>

the other person that I realised to have aged is my dad. BOY DOES HE LOOK OLD. like an old man :S greying hair, sagging and wrinkly skin. EW. thanks to him I discovered that I really don't like old people. something about them disgusts me. EWWWWWWWWW. oh goodness. I sound like such a bimbo. BUT IT'S SO TRUEEEEEE!!! don't put me in an old folks home with fellow old wrinkly saggy people PLEEAASSEEEEE!! no CIP there! NEVERRRRRRRRrrrrrrr......

Another lesson learnt is Disney Characters have SHRUNK!

yes they have! I mean..i don't think I've grown very much since the last few years that I visited Disneylands but on this trip, I've noticed that the mascots like mickey and minnie and friends have grown considerably smaller. I would like to think that the real people inside them are around my height. SOOO...that means..that if all else fails (ie. i drop art school), I shall go into mascot school and be a disney mascot :D YAY! what a cool job title. it's possibly the best job. mascots already look so happy on the outside. u can be totally sianed on the inside and no one would know! HUR HUR HURRRRRR

another impt lesson I learnt is that I REALLY DO HAVE A PERSONAL BUBBLE and i HATE PEOPLE TO TOUCH ME WHEN I DON'T WANT THEM TO. while sitting in the car stuck between my fat dad and my lanky little brother, I was highly annoyed with the fact that my shoulders and arms were pressed against lil bro's shoulders and fat dad's fat arms. even if it was soft and squishy I wasn't comfortable and uncomfortable gloria makes for grumpy annoyed gloria. GRRRRR. and come to think of it. i really don't like squeezing in crowds and being squashed up against :S mweh DON"T COME SO NEAR MEEE!!!!

ok. so enough lessons from the holiday i guess :S OH AND ONE MORE. AMERICAN AIRLINES SUCK BALLS. yes. i said that! just trying to get from Orlando to Savannah was such a pain in the butt. I learnt recently from my school that it was merely a 4 hour drive from Savannah to Orlando Disney so I probably would have saved more time being driven (maybe). instead, my flight was delayed again and again and I almost had to miss my connecting flight to Savannah. Thankfully, I managed to get the last seat on the flight and UNFORTUNATELY, it was the last seat right beside the toilet, which very unfortunate for me, reeked of ammonia especially towards the end of the flight so much so that my nose actually hurt from it :( and then turbulence was pretty bad but at least I wasn't air sick. the turbulence actually felt quite fun and it was sort of like a roller coaster ride from the theme parks, except there's actually a chance of dying considering how roller coasters are possibly safer than flying a plane. but whatevs. i'm alive and in one piece. ah well. then I had to deal with the annoyance of losing my luggage which was bad because my cell phone was dead and my charger was in the luggage. so WONDERFUL. the good side is, my luggage gets delivered to me. from this, I've learnt to always pack a hand carry luggage of basic clothes so you won't have to sleep dirty in dirty clothes or sleep clean in your birthday suit.

On to more...recent stuff. Classes have started and I must honestly admit, I do miss having foundation classes and mindless copying of objects to paper. I now have to wreck my brain harder to come up with stuff and it's quite annoying if not depressing and I find myself doubting my abilities and my future vocation. meh. Classes have been rather soul and energy sucking but I guess I just need to alter my mindset and live the way my vector and raster professor has MOTIVATED us to...much like an american sports coach would do to a football team. on my door is a sign that say "EFFORT WITH PASSION TODAY"

weird how it actually works in motivating me with a burst of passion.

soooo...party in my house again..the usual start and end of quarter party and this was the first time i actually tried to hang out amongst the crowd. ...it lasted for....less than half an hour? it was kinda awkward cos I don't drink for one and I barely know anyone and those that I do, I'm not close to. meh. i need more friends that just sit down and watch disney channel with me :( thank goodness I have my own room to hide in. anyhows, it was kinda overwhelming out there and I'm pretty sure I was getting drunk on alcohol vapors. it makes me sick. I don't think I'll be a very good drinker considering how I get affected simply based on skin absorption. BUT BUT BUTTTT...i think i'll be a pretty funny drunk. WHICH MEANS I MUST MAKE SURE I HAVE NICE CLOTHES AND UNDERWEAR ON just in case i get so drunk that I soil myself and my friends have to clean me up. HOPEFULLY...we'll never have to get anywhere near that stage. don't quite like the idea of people touching me.....especially in the private regions. WHAT IF THEY LAUGH AT MY BUSH?!?! or poke at my fats saying how wonderfully squishy i am :S

mmm..maybe that's why I don't like people being so in my personal bubble.

so far the only drama in this party is.....cop was sitting outside in his car outside my house...STALKING us. people freaking out cos we are underaged. butttt..nothing happened. i guess the cop doesn't like the cold either. I would stay in my warm toasty car too if i were him.

so yes...that's my life...

having super duper mixed feelings about going back home, esp since I now know that the next time I probably will be returning would be for a very long time. having been away from home and all things familiar for a whole year made me realise that people do adapt and slowly but surely, we learn to make do without certain things. While I had previously thought that I might die without local food, I soon realised that it's not that big a deal, especially not that I have the chance to cook my own meals and have a taste close to home.

then again, the grass always seems greener on the other side. Back in America I wanted to come back. Now that I'm back home, I'm longing for the huge, clean and neat room I have in the states, the cool weather etc. I guess I kinda got used to the quieter and slow life in the states. Singapore seems super duper fast paced and everyone is so grumpy :(

As I soaked in my last remaining hours in Singapore, I learnt to appreciate the accessibility of things here. I know where to find my cheap stuff, the kinds of food, the small neighbourhood shops that practically sell every single genre of items that you will need in life. I'm such a sentimental fart. I don't think it's the lifestyle or qualities in Singapore that I really miss, but the nostalgia of the 19 years of my life spent here in this place. Watching Singapore change, being able to find the tiniest hints of my past in the small and colorful sugar icing biscuits, the smelly markets and so much more.

the scary thing about living in a foreign land is its foreignness. It's pretty cool at times (usually only when you can boast to your friends stuck back home), but at the same time, it doesn't feel very much different. I come home with hardly new and exciting stories to tell. I still lead the same kind of life albeit I have to be more independent. I'm in the states for school and so, I go through what you guys go through. I go to school, I get homework, I do them, I prepare for exams. sooo..why do people expect me to be different when i return? I don't see much of a change in them when i come back anyway.

anyhows...i think i've gained back all hte weight that I lost in the states within this one month. goodness knows the amount of food I've eaten back here :S

1. Hokkien Mee
2. Carrot cake (white)
3. Carrot Cake (Black)
4. Roasted Chicken Rice
5. Roast Duck, Char Siew, Sio bak rice
6. Satay
7. Otah
8. Chicken Wings
9. Stingray
10. Crayfish
11. Tutu kueh
12. Banana Ball
13. Ondeh ondeh
14. Laksa
15. Fishball noodles
16. Ban Mien (dry)
17. Ban Mien (soup)
18. Fried Rice
19. Ee mee
20. Chilli Crab
21. Kuay Chap
22. Cereal Prawn
23. Hot plate tofu
24. McSpicy
25. Mee Siam
26. Roti Prata
27. Roti John
28. Nasi Lemak
29. Char Kuay Teow
30. Fried Orh Lua
31. Mixed rice and dishes
32. Popiah
33. Goreng Pisang
34. Kueh Dadar
35. Sugar Donut
36. Mee Goreng
37. Naan
38. Taandoori Chicken
39. Masala Prata
40. Kaya Bread
41. Har gao
42. Siu Mai
43. Char Siew Sou
44. Yong Tau Hu
45. Curry Puff

etc etc etc. and even after listing all these down I still haven't eaten quite alot of things though every time it's time to go out for a meal my mind blanks out. next time need to write down :S

i don't think it's so much of a "oh-i-miss-eating-this" for most of them. it's more of a..."i-dont-have-a-chance-to-eat-this-in-a-long-time" kinda thing. lol. ahh..so fat naooooo