good lord.

Life's been intense yet somewhat fulfilling. ok not every part of it. My ambassador duties are sapping my life and energy. It's just something I'm really forcing myself to do and every bone and cell in my body screams at me and cringes in pain and horror. It did however, force me to expand my wardrobe and I now actually have decent formal shoes. I now understand why I never experienced blisters. it's because all the shoes I've worn ie sneakers, track shoes etc are way more comfortable to walk in in comparison to the "pretty shoes" like heels which kills my calves and the hard leather that bites into my skin. I now have blisters and cuts and sore calves. I have honestly no clue how i'm going to survive a long days worth of giving tours and acting happy and answer questions when all I can think about is OUCHHHHHHH. The training has only reinforced to me how painfully shy I can be and how anti social I am. Ironic for someone who's been in various leadership positions that requires me to do public speaking and befriend people. It takes all the effort to put on a smile and be energetic for strangers that I know I will not remember.

One other thing good that came out of the trainings were the etiquette training. I'm now equipped with proper table manners....but whether or not i'm gonna use them is another issue altogether. Screw manners if it's gonna take me 2.5 hours to finish a meal. Food's gonna get cold and it ain;t nice anymore. It's just silly to let such expensive food go to waste. SCREW PROPRIETY. I will not survive in Elizabeth Bennett's era of pride and prejudice.

The new roommate's been good and so far we seem to have quite abit of similarities and her family's been really nice too. esp her mum. it's kinda weird to have a mother figure around that you're actually willing to obey. I guess it's the way she phrases things and it's nice to have nicknames cos it kinda felt like i was part of the family even though we;ve just met. AND...she doesn't care if we go eat macdonalds. YAY! It's strange how even though I'm living in hte land of Macdonalds I've hardly eaten any and the finals of Summer quarter was actually the first time in 7-8 months since I last ate from the golden arches. YUM. Thank goodness she's not a health freak/allergy bum/fussy eater like my previous roommates were so maybe life's gonna be great. CROSS FINGERS.

As for now...it's back to school and time to figure out how my schedule should work out. Life's gonna be a tight squeeze and I'm gonna have to compromise here and there for things to figure out. As of now...my brain has been wired towards my future career and i'm packing my life full of stuff that will help me get places. tiring...but have to otherwise everything will go down the drain. I hate the world and how it runs by networking. Anyhows...this quarter doesn't look too fun with 3d motion graphics. I took the first class today and already I felt kinda lost and very nervous about it. Also got kinda motion sick with it. not a good sign. well...we'll see how it goes. Hopefully i'll manage to scrape by with an A. Thankfully the trial version lasts beyond the quarter so it appears i will be able to work from home and not be limited to the library 1am hours or being trapped in the timeless ex-coffin factory where you don't see the light of day. Seriously..that place makes me depressed. firstly...it's freakin far away and secondly...it's cold and grey and they have no windows in the entire building. the only way to see outside is true the clear glass doors on the first floor. that's it.

doop doop dee doop.