i went shopping for prom today. but firstly, i had to follow all the cgls to someone in singapore for their cgl lunch. i felt so extra. esp since i wasn't a cgl. never will be. but that's another story.
i felt so...extra. i mean. everyone there were like the youngest being 18. ok. the people there were mainly 20 something. with the exception of chris chia who was 18.there was...jon ji, amy teo, ps dave and his wife heather, renzi (who is married)and i think thazz about it.
i felt so awkward. stuck between amy and joanne and sitting opposite renzi pastor dave and heather. with the closest friend as a cgl being sarah who was sitting at the other end of the earth, i mean table. felt so...lonely...and extra...bah.....and to think that in the future i'll have to go for leaders retreat is scary.
everyone seemed excited for me. for prom. weirdly. dun understand why. they were all suggesting what to place me in. what colour etc etc. it was stressful. i'd rather study than go through all that prom prep. oh boy. but i know it was highly fascinating for them to watch me shop. actually. i didn't shop. amy did. haha.
shopping for prom was an entire whole new horrendous experience. i was so intending to pon prom because it was such a horror trying to find something to wear!!!! i was made to wear dresses. all sorts. tube like ones, halter toppy ones, spaghetti strappies one all sorts of weird stuff that i had no idea how to put on. call myself a girl. i seriously believe i'm stuck in the wrong body! RAH. why can't i just be like a guy. be easy. get a shirt, coat etc.
i dun think i ever stripped down to my undies in front of someone. even if she didn't mind. i did. i felt as though my privacy had been intruded.WHYYYYY...it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STTTREEESSSFUUULLLLL. especially if u have a figure as bad as mine. so embarassing. argh.. i am seriously intending to get a sex change. i;m just very different from girls i suppose. shopping and make up and all..not my stuff. i was looking at the interiors of shops. the cool shelves they have. sarah and chrystal were like "you can't wear shelves!!!" but it was a really nice decorative shelf =) and they had nice clocks too! bleah...they don't appreciate such stuff. sad people. an dun forget. shopping is such a money sucker thing. everything we saw was SOOOO eXPENSIvE! my goodness! no wonder they always have no money! see...my parents should love me more for not spending so much of their money.
anyway..i felt like a country bumpkin. amy just couldn't understand how anyone could live all the way till 16 without wearing any high heels before. i did =))))) ok. i'm not 16 yet. but still =)shopping with them all in all was a very stressful experience. i felt watched. with the need to meet all that high expectations, with ideas totally different from mine. i'm more casual =) can't we just go for prom in our sch u??? they can't say it's inappropriate can they????????? and it felt as though they were all so frustrated. and they were just being nice cos i was such an idiot.
they all left after that, leaving sarah and i together. i felt very much relieved. as much as i love amy...she stresses me out..somehow. sarah and i started talking. with me telling her how i felt and all. it was so much better. i feel that i've grown closer to sarah and we're able to share more private stuff with one another. it's good to have someone u can trust to be accountable to. we continued shopping and sarah bought some stuff at topshop. liz is so gonna love her presents =)))))
we went off to bishan after some more shopping. and went to j8 where we met her mum and had dinner at thomson plaza at like....9???? i think the ramen was too filling. i was stuggling to finish my meal...arh..but it was nice la. i never eaten ramen in my entire life. it was good =))))
and after this horrendous experience shopping. i can't believe i have to do it again cos i'm not done...WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! oh God...save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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